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I made a difference; Common App supplement- describe an activity


dreamingoutloud 3 / 5 1  
Sep 2, 2013   #1
I'm working on my application, and some colleges have a supplement asking to describe/elaborate on an activity that I've done. I wrote mine about my volunteer experience, but I'm having trouble if it makes me seem like some rude, privileged kid who hated volunteering (which is false). Any constructive criticism/pointers are appreciated!

When I first walked in to Daybreak Shelter, despite my greatest efforts, I had a lot of expectations. Even though I was only there for the summer, I was going to connect with people. I was going to have the most transformative, eye-opening experience ever. This was going to be college-essay gold, and I was going to change people's lives.

"We're not too busy right now. Can you do some dishes?"

Eager to please, I went over to the sink and started loading the dishwasher. This isn't too exciting, I thought to myself, but I'm sure that I'll get to do something better tomorrow. Later that day, I had what seemed like a golden opportunity to make a difference: lunch time with the residents. But it was as if I was the new kid in school- everyone had already settled into groups, and I wandered around aimlessly until I retired to the kitchen to eat by myself.

The next few days were no better- I dutifully answered phones, washed dishes, and organized closets and filing cabinets. This wasn't the fun, fulfilling experience I had in mind. But as the weeks went by, I became a familiar face at the shelter. The women who lived there began to recognize me, and I would often have a brief chat with whomever I was working with in the kitchen. I started to look forward to volunteering more and more, and by the time I had to leave and go back to school I was surprised at my disappointment.

Even though I never did get to do any of the life-changing work that I had envisioned, I made a difference. Because it's not always the big things that matter. Sometimes people really do need someone to wash the dishes and clean out closets, and it turned out to be more rewarding than I ever thought it would be- even if I thought I was just doing menial work at first. I expected to leave my stint as a volunteer with something that would pad my resume quite nicely, but I got something else, as well: the knowledge that I had done something good for others, and that it was important even if it seemed small.
IntelligentS 1 / 1  
Sep 5, 2013   #2
When I first walked in to Daybreak Shelter, despite my greatest efforts, I had a lot of expectations.

"Even though I was only there for the summer, I believe I was going to connect with people and have the most transformative, eye-opening experience ever. This was going to be college-essay gold, and I was going to change people's lives. "

I think that the fact that you mention college essays within the essay itself may put you in a risky situation.
sarthakjain 19 / 58  
Sep 5, 2013   #3
I second what IntelligentS said. It appears you only started volunteering for getting in college which may not sit well with some readers.


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