Thank you!! Any harsh criticism would be appreciated. I will defiantly return the favor!!
TOPIC OF YOUR CHOICE:
Piano
I love to play the piano, even though I play terribly.
However, the idea of embracing my weakness was alien to me. I rarely agreed to play games of basketball, chess, or scrabble because I felt inadequate. This philosophy has shaped me into a picky sourpuss.
But, one day as I neared my house, an angelic sound grabbed my soul and guided me home. Once inside, the magic of the sound drew my curiosity as I walked toward the living room. Afraid that the beautiful musical notes would stop, I tip toed and peeked in. My sister was sitting and leaning over a large, polished wooden object. As her fingers came down on the ivory white and charcoal black keys, the music came out like a morning bird, beautiful and soft. In awe of the device in front of me, my mouth shaped into an oval.
As I stumbled closer, the scent of new wood grew stronger. Before long, my sister and my eyes met, and the room was filled with the ticking sound of our living room clock.
"Where did you get this?" I asked.
With a tired voice she responded, " mom bought it for me as a birthday present."
After she headed in to her room, nothing was standing in the way of me and the piano. I quickly sat down. With a smile, my fingers came down on the keys and the piano sang. Feeling a chill running up my back, I pressed the notes from left the right, making a sound similar to ascending stairs. I tried to imitate the song my sister had just played. In my head, I heard the song. Each key I hit sounded right, and I felt unstoppable. I ran to my sister and asked her if she liked my song. She told me that it sounded like a dying car. My will to play crumbled like a tower of blocks.
I tried to forget about the piano, but whenever I heard music my hands started to itch. Before long, I went back to the piano. With a small sigh, I got into position to play Rivers Flow by Yiruma. But unfortunately, all I heard was a string of jumbled notes. Suddenly, I remembered that my sister had a copy of Yiruma's Piano Album. After flipping through half the book, I finally found the piece. When I took a look at the music sheet, I was dumbfounded. The sheet was like a riddle or a puzzle, full of confusing symbols that I had to solve. Using pencils and stickers, I started to decode the piece.
The piano not only sang music, but it also taught me that I did not have to be good at something to like it. I was once arrogant about learning chess, but after practicing and playing the game, it became one of my favorite hobbies. My family still criticizes my piano-playing, but when I play the thirty measures of Rivers Flow, I always get the last smile.
SHORT ANSWER
It was Wednesday as the school bell gave out its last ring of the day. I quickly packed my
physics notes and headed toward the Project Help meeting room. There I was greeted by some board members, friends and our supervising director. As I scouted the room, I saw couple familiar and new underclassmen. As soon as the minute hand reached the twelve mark, me and couple other people took the rakes, trash bags, and brooms to tidy up our school's court yard. Once I saw that everyone was doing their work, I went inside to help with the banners. As I walked in, couple members came up to me to double check the time and date for the banners. The banners were mainly used to inform non-Project Help members to participate in the Alzheimer's walk, Autism Walk, Spring Cleaning, Breast Cancer Drive, Back Stoppers, Kids Smart, and more. As I finished painting the letter i on Clothing Drive, the four o clock bell rang as couple members slowly got their backpacks and headed toward the entrance. As soon as I greeted the last member to leave, I sat back down to paint the letter v.
For the Piano essay, I'm not impressed at all because majority of the essay, you showed yourself as weak and a failure with confidence that dies easily. Then at the ending, you only give 2 sentences to make you look good in front of the reader. Try to cut down on making yourself look like a failure, and expand more on how you succeed and elaborate how this had a positive impact you on at a deeper level.
For the short answer, I assume you'r writing for the extracurricular essay.
All in all, you effectively displayed what you do, but my suggestion to me would be to include how this activity appealed to you in order to give a better image of you. But that is just my suggestion.
Can you give my princeton supplement a read. I revised it and I need to submit it in quickly.
