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'The Lord Jesus Christ is my refuge' SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES or ACCOMPLISHMENTS


MaRiiAa6422 1 / -  
Aug 13, 2012   #1
ANYONE THERE WHO HAS A KIND HEART! please help me !! T.T help me to improve my essay into a more interesting one T.T

In this typical stage of man, being a teenager is surely a difficult role to play. It forces me to do new things in which I have to make a decision that will bring my inner self to a situation that I do not expect to handle. Moreover, I have realized that not all things will go smoothly and I have to control myself in managing the situation through my past experiences that I've learned. Like many other teenagers, I have made many mistakes but not like most of them, it inspires me to do the next opportunity the best that I can do in order for me not to regret even if I fail. I'll just say to myself, "It's alright, all will be well. Maybe it's not yet the right time. Maybe it will happen in God's time.

There's one part of my life that I almost gave up because I was so tired of defending my side to the people who were called to be my friends, something that I don't intend to make a big commotion about it. I know it will just put a gap on our relationship, but I don't know who I can talk to. I don't know who I will approach to help me ease the pain that I've burden. But someone inside me, a voice that told me, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you." My whole body immediately started to feel numb and it made me realized that I have forgotten Jesus Christ was with me all the time. He just wanted me to call his name and cry out the pain in my heart in His presence. And as I pray, I asked forgiveness that I have not been faithful to Him. I've been so blind for the past fifteen years wishing to regain all the wasted time just to spend my life more being with Jesus. Yet He immediately answered back saying, "My friend, it's not your fault. Everything is according to My Father's Purpose for you. Now is the perfect time to praise the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit that I have given unto you long time ago. Just do whatever the world asks you to do. Let it be an offering to My Father and to the Son and I tell you, it will be good!" Hearing those words uplifted my soul and helped me overcome the sadness that I have in my heart.

After accepting the Lord Jesus Christ to be my refuge, things started to be all according to plan, God's plan. Now, being a faithful servant of the Lord, it truly gave me a direction in life and a determination in achieving not my goals but God goals for me. It also made me more mature and gave me enough wisdom and knowledge on understanding how to live my temporary life here on earth meaningful and valuable.
KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Aug 14, 2012   #2
Greetings, Lyrie)
Is this essay is for a religiously affiliated college?

For now your essay lacks a unique story, it sounds very common. You need to elaborate on the part about you conflict with your peers, add more details, that would describe your outer and inner conflicts. The essay should show your gradual path towards the faith.

In my opinion, though, religion is not the best topic for a college application essay, because not everyone is religious and the admission officers might not share your views, unless the college is religiously affiliated. Writing about religion have a high risk of being not original. So I really suggest you to reconsider your topic.


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