Prompt: Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.
Standing in our apartment, I look down from the window and see the familiar view of the delicate rooftops of a hutong neighborhood, decorated with fresh white snow. This neighborhood has been here since we moved to Beijing in 2000, and I love catching a glimpse of it when I pass the balcony - it's such a breath of fresh air compared to the surrounding drab modern buildings. A group of old men are seated around a stone table playing mahjong, slapping their laps whenever they make a good move, yelling Hao!; several old women are dancing to folk songs with colorful fans; children are running between the interweaving alleyways, screaming with laughter.
There are many hutong neighborhoods scattered all over Beijing, each with its own anecdotes and traditions, all witnesses of Beijing's history. As I have been wandering around Beijing over the past few years, I noticed a haunting character repeatedly written over many hutongs in white paint - Chai, "to be torn down." No mahjong, dancing, fans, or laughing. That's when I realized the mind-boggling amount of change Beijing has undergone this decade. Every time I come back to Beijing from the USA, I always have trouble registering the new skyscrapers, street lights, and highways. I also gradually began to see the bulldozers and rubble of hutongs, and wondered where the people disappear to. In the midst of rapid economic development and globalization, there is a massive group of people left behind. Like these hutongs, they have become unwanted tradition and are seen as obstacles in the way of modern development.
As I continue to watch the old men crowd around a game of Mahjong, I wonder what I, as a young Chinese woman, can do to help preserve these hutongs and history.
I will agree with the previous poster. While you paint a vivid, descriptive picture of the situation, the essay still needs a personal touch. Try bringing in some anecdote about yourself, which relates with the picture.
Only your last line talks about yourself. Since the word limit is really tight, you may want to cut down on some of the descriptions to make more room for your personal thoughts.
Hope that helped :)
Hi,
The description of the surrounding is really good. But, I think you need to undermine why this is important for you, how you feel yourself being a part of this environment and what you feel while looking at those men and other objects there.
I hope it will help
