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Letter to Financial Aid Office



bizkitgirlzcThreads: 29
Posts: 33
Author: CGS
   
Mar 28, 2008, 12:25pm   #1
Can someone please review my letter for me? Thanks!



To whom it may concern,

I am a high school student who has been accepted at Reed College under the Early Decision II process. I am certainly honored to have been accepted by such a prestigious institution and by the college which I have fallen in love with. However, when I received my tentative award it found me under very different circumstances than when I filed my FAFSA and CSS profile.

My father was injured at work on September 26, 2007 and since then has not been working. He was supposed to receive pay from worker's compensation but since the nature of his case was unclear, according to them, he has not been receiving a single penny. Now that we are left without one of our main sources of income, we have been scrapping by to cover our basic needs. I realize that my parents' current IRS income tax forms do not reflect a big difference but that's because our major struggle only begun at the end of that year.

To make matters worse, my father's union which provided our family with medical benefits has now recently cut them off since he hasn't been working. So now my family, aside from being without one source of income we are also without healthcare.

We do not know when this problem will be resolved seeing how my father's court trial against worker's compensation will not begin until April 10, 2008. And even after the trial, it will take many weeks if not months to come to a solution about my father's situation. This has currently left us in very uncertain circumstances.


Therefore, if my final award remains the same as the tentative estimate award that Reed offered, I will not be able to attend. I have already sent in an enrollment deposit but if I am not offered a better financial aid package from the school I will have to appeal my decision and go somewhere more affordable. I truly want to go to Reed College but without the financial means to do so I won't be able to attend this coming Fall.

I will be patiently waiting for your re-evaluation response of my new financial circumstances.

Sincerely,
--------

P.S: I have attached supporting documents of my father's injury, worker's compensation, and awaiting court trial.



EF_Team2Threads: 1
Posts: 2,195
Author: Sarah, EssayForum.com
   
Mar 28, 2008, 11:35pm   #2
Greetings!

I think your letter is very well-written! I have just a few editing suggestions:

I realize that my parents' current IRS income tax forms do not reflect a big difference but that's because our major struggle only began at the end of that year.

To make matters worse, my father's union, which provided our family with medical benefits, has now cut them off because he hasn't been working. So now my family, aside from being without one source of income, is also without health care.

We do not know when this problem will be resolved. My father's worker's compensation trial will not begin until April 10, 2008, and even after the trial, it will take many weeks--probably months--to come to a resolution.

P.S: I have attached supporting documents of my father's injury, worker's compensation, and pending court trial.

I hope your letter is met with success--good luck!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com




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