Criticism and help will be greatly appreciated!
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"Let's play doctor!" As a child, I forced my little brother to play as my patient. I used earphones as a stethoscope to listen to his heart beat and take a marker to gently hit his knee. My grandma told me that before I started kindergarten, I promised her I would become a doctor and take care of her. My family has an extended history of strokes and health problems. The hospital was too much of a familiar place. Although I visited to hospital and role played "doctor" with my brother many times, the feeling of uneasiness always crept upon me when I enter through the sliding doors.
I clearly remember one visit when my great grandma, who I was extremely close to, was very ill. I stood outside her door, feeling helpless as she was lying in her bed. I tried to hold back the lump in the back of my throat as my vision was blurred by tears. I wanted to help her, to cure her. I watched as the nurse assisted my grandma to the bathroom. The doctor came into the room as she checked in with my grandma. She turned to me as she was walking out and said, "She'll be alright. We're trying to do all that we can." After numerous check-ups and medical attention, my great grandma started to recover soon after with the help of the doctor and nurses. This gave me a feeling of relief as I walked out the sliding doors that once gave me an uncomfortable feeling.
The hospital community and environment, as well as my family, has inspired me to pursue my dreams in medicine. The idea of how medicine and the body functions intrigues me. Medical professionals have compassion while doing their job which gives me comfort. And because of that, I knew that my grandma was in good hands. I want to be able to help my community as well as the rest of the world maintain a healthy life and prevent diseases. I also want to give them the feeling of relief that the doctors have given me. There is no other career that inspires me more than the medical field.
I used earphones as a stethoscope to listen to his heart beat and taketook a marker to gently hit his knee.
BecauseMymy family has an extended history of strokes and health problems, t he hospital wasis too much of a familiar place. Although I visited tothe hospital and role played "doctor" with my brother many times, the feeling of uneasiness alwaysstill managed tocreptcreep upon me when I entered through the sliding doors.
I tried to hold back the lump in the back of my throat
The idea of how medicine and the body functions intrigues me. mmm... this sentence kind of makes no sense, you seemed to have left out a part.. "the idea of how medicine... intrigues me." of how medicine what?
I want to be able to help my community, as well as the rest of the world, maintain a healthy life and prevent diseases.
just make these corrections, i like your essay :)
