Why do you want to study at LU? ( no word limit)
Ever since a young age, I have wanted to become part of an academic institution that acknowledges the value of liberal arts education and emphasizes the discovery of knowledge by stimulating intellectual inquiry among its students. I have a spirited heart for culture; the cultural enthusiasm within me engrosses myself in the fields of literature, history, international relations, economics, psychology, political science and fine arts. All courses in Lingnan University are appealing to me; I would take them all if I could. However, I would have the independence to choose elective courses from various disciplines. You might want to briefly add more details, explainaing why their courses are appealing to you and why having the independence to choose elective courses from various disciplines is important to you.
Lingnan University provides a unique experience in volunteering through the service learning project. I find it most appealing as I do not have any experience
of volunteering abroad; the service-learning project in LU will provide me a new experience in volunteering. The project has particularly caught my attention because I'm (avoid contractions in an essay) a volunteer teaching assistant in with the Jaago Foundation (an underprivileged school 's children's [try to clarify this more effectively, it sounds unfinished. If it's an organization or foundation make that known.]), assisting teachers in educating children through visual presentation and oral communication. I really enjoy my work and service learning will rejuvenate my experiences and help me to integrate with the social life in Hong Kong. I am allergic to cold weather. Mild winters is one of the major factor deciding (this does not fit in well, try to reword it better. If you want to highlight the weather, get straight to the point and then emphasize why you prefer mild weather, but to be honest, I think there are better things to highlight than the weather.)
I hate snow and I am glad it does not snow in Hong Kong because fabulous weather is one of the reasons I am choosing Lingnan. Also the street foods in Tuen Mun tastes fantastic as I have heard from my cousins who visited there last summer. Staying in Tuen Muen I will be able to buy cheap electronics and do cheap shopping. Friendly people.
I think it starts off well but it starts to get a bit choppy at the end. Definitely work on the concluding paragraph more and work on making the essay flow better. But overall, I think this is a good start. Work on it some more and I think you will get a great result. Because there is no word limit, you should definitely expand on why you are interested in their courses as that's very important. But overall, it's a good start. Good luck!