Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
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While it is difficult to measure the impact that each person in my life has had on me, it is easy to say that there is one person who has greatly influenced me and shaped me into the person I am today. Unfortunately, I have not met this person for he lived over two thousand years ago, but through history and his teachings, Jesus Christ has been able to impact my life in a way no one currently living has.
Jesus was sent from heaven to earth to fulfill his Father's mission of cleansing humankind from their original sins. He came into a world that was raging with poverty, hatred, violence, and hunger, but in the years that he walked this earth to preach his values and beliefs, he became a beacon of hope for people everywhere and for many, many years to come.
From a young age, I was taught to attend every Sunday mass to receive the word of the Lord. As a child, I never looked forward to a cycle of standing, sitting, and kneeling for an hour, for that was what going to church meant to me- a routine, a hassle I had to go through every Sunday- because I had yet to understand the true meaning of Christianity and what it meant to have faith. As I grew older though, I began to realize that believing in Jesus was more than just believing that a religious figure had been alive over two centuries ago; it meant following his ways and carrying out his will to be a model Christian for others in society to look up to and depend on. Nowadays, anyone can say that they are Christian just because they believe in a higher power, but to live as an example of a true Christian and to play an important role in carrying out Jesus' legacy, it takes an open mind and an open heart. While his principles are basic, they are easier said than done: to love your God and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Each day, I challenge myself to live by these values, and through setting his standards as my own, I believe that I am taking a step towards being a better person for myself, for my family, and for my community. As an active member of my Catholic church, I volunteer to lend my musical abilities to the choir and my time to participate in retreats as a small group leader. On the weekends, I spend my Saturday mornings at a local soup kitchen to help pass out a warm welcome and a hot meal to those in need. During school related functions, I extend a helping hand as a member of National Honor Society, Key Club, Student Council, and Senior Women. By taking part in these services, I am a living and breathing example of Jesus.
With all that said, it wasn't always easy for me to have such a deeply-rooted faith in someone who is not physically on this earth, but each time I begin to doubt the man upstairs, I remember all the times that I've talked or prayed to him and how he has listened and answered to me. There is one time in particular that I remember where he literally saved my life. I had been sitting in an open trunk of a car watching fireworks one New Year's Eve, when all of a sudden, a firework engineered to spin on the ground gained a mind of its own and raced straight towards me. To my relief, the firework only burned a hole through my jacket and singed one of my fingers once it hit me, but ever since that day, I have been a firm believer in Jesus. He was truly looking down on me and saved me from what potentially could have been a fatal accident.
Although I haven't been formally introduced to Jesus, he still has impacted me and ultimately, influenced the way I live my life as a daughter, sister, student, friend, and human. Without Jesus, I would not be the person I am today, nor would I be here if he hadn't saved me from the firework, and because of that, I can easily say that he is one of the most important people in my life.
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Thank you for reading! Any feedback would be appreciated.
Um.
How do I say this?
Your essay is really, really good. Honestly. But you might want to make your essay's focus more of how Jesus has influenced YOU and how this has changed your life than why Jesus is so great and why you are a firm believer. I don't think colleges are looking for good, Christian kids- instead, expand on this: "Although I haven't been formally introduced to Jesus, he still has impacted me and ultimately, influenced the way I live my life as a daughter, sister, student, friend, and human . Without Jesus, I would not be the person I am today , nor would I be here if he hadn't saved me from the firework, and because of that, I can easily say that he is one of the most important people in my life. "
WHY would you not be the same without him? And WHAT is the influence he has had on you as a daughter, sister, student, etc.? Give some examples of your life as a sister, friend, student, etc. Your essay focuses more on Jesus than it does on you.
Also, "Each day, I challenge myself to live by these values, and through setting his standards as my own, I believe that I am taking a step towards being a better person for myself, for my family, and for my community. As an active member of my Catholic church, I volunteer to lend my musical abilities to the choir and my time to participate in retreats as a small group leader. On the weekends, I spend my Saturday mornings at a local soup kitchen to help pass out a warm welcome and a hot meal to those in need (this is good! more examples like this!). During school related functions, I extend a helping hand as a member of National Honor Society, Key Club, Student Council, and Senior Women (you're basically listing your resume. focus on one thing and expand on it) . By taking part in these services, I am a living and breathing example of Jesus . (example is the wrong word here. you make it sound like you are like Jesus, colleges prefer humility. try I hope to be as much like Jesus as possible, or something along those lines) "
Overall, your essay is good. You really need to focus on yourself. This is not the place to preach about Christ's values, but to expand on how they have made an impact on you. Don't go off topic.
Good luck! Hope this helped :)
