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Why International Relations is my dream area of study- Brown Supplement


yenna 9 / 23  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
Here's the prompt: Why are you drawn to the academic field you indicated above ( International Relations) max 1000 characters.

Please critique :) :/

International Relations, a concentration that was unknown to me before, is now my dream area of study. After discovering the program on the website I knew that IR at Brown and I were destined.

My favorite book as a child was the atlas. My favorite piece of the art was a map. My favorite placemat was one with the world pictured on it. At a young age I became fascinated with the world and the aspects within it. I remember staying up with a flashlight to read books to nourish these fascinations. Social and cultural aspects of the world became favorites and after taking AP Human Geography foreign policy, equality, and human rights were added to the list.

Culture, nations, geography, international law, the world: my passions. Who knew that my childhood interests would stay with me until now? Who knew these interests would become topics I will study in college? I sure didn't but all I do know is that I now want to pursue my passions, elements of International Relations, at Brown University.

Thanks guys :3
moorea 1 / 5  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
loved your response...i'll just share a few suggestions of minor corrections...

"concentration that was previously unknown to me"

"My favorite piece of the art was a map."

I think you used the rhetorical questions very successfully

be sure not to use any contractions in your essay

and finally, if you have enough characters try to add in a few more detailed adjectives or adverbs in.

You wrote a great and convincing response to the prompt! I would REALLY APPRECIATE if you could return the favor and offer any constructive criticism to my essay in the thread titled "Best piece of advice essay- 'hay' belongs to the horses- for Brown University"

Thanks and hope to see you at brown next year!:))
OP yenna 9 / 23  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
Thanks so much :)
i'm going to yours riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight now
good luck too!
sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 28, 2010   #4
on the website I knew that IR at Brown and I were destined.

Seems a bit unclear.. I know what you are trying to say but it's a bit confusing.

Great essay other than a few minor errors :)
OP yenna 9 / 23  
Dec 28, 2010   #5
Thanks. I understand where you're coming from on that sentence too so i'll change it :)


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