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An intellectual interest of yours (The study of human behavior)



nabilThreads: 3
Posts: 7
Author: Edison Diaz
   
Dec 18, 2010, 05:12pm   #1
Any criticism or opinion on the essay will be appreciated


Describe an intellectual interest of yours

The study of human behavior

I am not certain how much most people can distinguish about the characteristics of two individuals from a small interaction between them. I know however, that more times than not, I could tell you quite accurately a bit about who is the more dominant among them, how the conversation is going and a few other things about them without even knowing the language that they are speaking. All just from paying close attention to the manner of their interaction.

The study of human behavior and body language has fascinated me for a while now. I know that it's not usual for an eighteen-year-old to be interested in psychology. Honestly I have yet to find a contemporary who shares my level of interest on this matter. It started when I read a random article on the internet on body postures to avoid when giving an interview or public speeches, and what these stances meant. It did not mean much to me back then but as I went on to observe these things in real life I grew more and more interested. In my spare time, I started doing a little research on human communication on a sub-conscious level. Among many other aspects of the subject I looked up things like voice tone and facial expressions. Then I tried using this knowledge to interpret the behavior of people around me. I quickly realized that it was not nearly as easy as I expected it to be and I was horrible at it. Gradually I got better though. I do not wish to imply that I am anything like one of those 'face-readers' from the FBI, but I have improved a lot since I started and I do it quite often now just for the fun of guessing someone's thoughts.

The study of human behavior and psychology is probably not a subject that I will go on to do a major on, thanks to my greater interest in building machines, and to some extent to the boring jobs related to the field of psychology. However, it is a topic that I know for sure will continue to captivate my interest in the future.



VbalandinaThreads: 2
Posts: 20
Author: Koluna2000
   
Dec 19, 2010, 03:41am   #2
I suggest that you diversify the sentence structure, since there are too many 'I' sentences!)
And also why did you choose to describe psychology, if you are not going to major in it? I think you should rewrite it and focus on building machines)))


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Dec 27, 2010, 05:52pm   #3
I have to combine these last two sentences of the first paragraph, or the last sentence will be incomplete:
...even knowing the language that they are speaking -- all just from by paying close attention to the manner of their interaction.

I know that it's not usual for an eighteen-year-old to be interested in psychology. Honestly I have yet to find a contemporary who shares my level of interest on this matter. ---these two statements seem contradictory.

It started when I read a random article on the internet Internet on body postures to avoid when ...

When you get to the end of the essay, it seems to end in an "anti-climactic" way. It seems to just peter out. :-) I think you should end it by making a connection between this skill and your intended career -- rather than differentiating them. Fit this interest/skill in with your future plans. It fits! :-)




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