Please Suggest- Im not too sure if the flow of the paragraphs makes interesting reading...
When I was a kid, I watched The Jungle Book and it was love at first sight. Photography was a late hobby and experimenting with my father's camera took up most of my Time. If I were to go back in time, I would pursue a career as a freelance wildlife photographer as it would have been the culmination of two of my biggest passions. From visiting the sunderban deltas in eastern India to spectacular wildlife in South Africa, I would travel extensively to learn about the diverse set of wildlife species and natural habitats. Nothing would beat the thrill of watching a lion pride or a leopard in a tree with my camera. With pedigree, I would create a portal for like-minded professionals to exchange ideas and benefit from individual research. Such a network of dedicated professionals would allow us to spread global awareness on how we are unconsciously destroying the habitats we live in .by organizing photography exhibitions and partnering with NGOs, I would seek to empower local people on the holistic value of nature and wildlife, which is more important than mere scientific knowledge.
Innovation, imagination and thought are what make wildlife photography a refined art and I would love to pursue it sometime to have a creative remit in my career.
You do not address the question. You do not talk about a different life from the one you are currently living. Rather you discuss your interests.
A wrong approach, as you do not answer the question.
I would have offered some input in regards to some grammatical errors you have made, however it will be useless seeing as how you did not even answer the question and you need to redraft your entire essay.
I think that you can work from what you have to answer the question, by envisioning a world in which nature is preserved rather than destroyed -- What changes in thinking, feeling, and/or behavior would be needed to make that world real? How might your own participation in nature photography help to bring that different world into being?
thanks guys...i made a real mess in not answering the question as i got lost maybe in writing about my interest...
I don't think you made a mess! You wrote from your passion, which is always where strong writing begins. If you work from that start, as I suggested or in some other way, then you will end up with an essay that stands out from the crowd because it speaks from the heart about something that truly matters to the writer.
You just need to speak from the heart while also answering the prompt. You might talk about how you would fight for the environment if you had been born into, say, Bill Gates family. That would certainly give you a life entirely different from the one you now lead (I'm assuming). Or, you could be particularly thoughtful, and imagine how, under those circumstances, you might not care about the environment at all, because you would have been raised differently and had different experiences.
