ILLEGAL DRUGS; **UWC PAKISTAN** ; Current problem in Pakistan

Discuss a problem that we are currently facing in Pakistan. Include possible solutions in your discussion (350 words).
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need help for word limit check + suggestions for improving and sentence structure reformatting.
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Terrorism, Religious genocide,Corruption,Expensiveness & Load-shedding.With high coverage in media,these are some of the known big problems which our nation is suffering through.As Markus Zusak said: "Big things are often just little things that people notice". So There is another dilemma I would like to talk about, which haven`t got any special attention yet ,neither from higher chairs nor from public.

3 years ago when I got admission in a popular public school,due to personal interest in psychological studies,I started trying to observe and understand our diverse-mooded community,supported by the fact of having every kind of friends from lowest to highest economical classes. And the shocking thing I figured out was that Drugs could be the next Big threat to the reputation and well being of our nation and country,To be particular, specially the Usage and access to Drugs by male Teenagers.

As to my personal experience and information, at least 3-4 out of every 100 boy high school students have direct links/access to hashish and alcohol dealers/hotspots. It`s popularity index is increasing at such a pace that i have seen ,in person, students secretly taking up hash even in classrooms while hiding it inside their geometry boxes, pen-caps.A huge proportion of our upcoming generation is being hunted by this curse.

Neglectfulness and carelessness by both teachers and parents is also involved in it`s promotion,As majority of it`s victims are those who did`nt got enough attention or politeness from parents and who were regularly mistreated or insulted by teachers in classrooms,So they choose these things for The attention demand and any kind of appraisal by the other fellows.

Banning the Shisha cafes was an appreciable step by Govt. as these places had an important role in encouraging drug community but it haven`t been completely successful due to side-support of high command some police officers.So Govt. need to take more strict and effective steps for finding and closing of places promoting such traditions.Also teachers and parents need to have deep checks & to be more involved,friendly and polite towards their child`s life specially during their adolescent period.Wide Promotion of sports would also give an effective impact on reduction of this black industry.

you should do your assignment by yourself

O.o IT IS my work,just asking for suggestions man -_-

There are some grammer mistakes
After you use comma (,) you have to put a space between the words.
ex) genocide,Corruption,Expensiveness -> genocide, Corruption, Expensiveness.

Also, I think you have to change did'nt into didn't

I hope this info helped you^^

Along with high media coverage, these are some of the burning issues with what our nation is suffering through.
And the shocking thing I figured out was that Drugs illegal drugs such as (list a few with what Pakistanis deal ) could be the next Bigbig threat to the reputation and well being of our nation and country. (full stop) To be particular, specially the Usageusage and access to Drugsdrugs by male Teenagers.teenagers.

Don't have too much capitalized words. That disturbs your flow.

Thank you for the comments.I Re-edited the essay. Is this one some better??
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Terrorism, Genocide, Corruption, Inflation & Energy crisis. these are the biggest issue which our nation is suffering through right now,Judging by coverage garnered in the media. Markus Zusak said: "Big things are often just little things that people notice" Personally, the 'little thing' I noticed which plagues this country and doesn't receive any special attention; neither from higher-ups nor from general public was this.

3 years ago, when I got admission in a popular public school',because of my devolping interest in 'Psychological Studies', I started trying to observe and understand our diverse mooded community. Based on analysis of my friends who hailed from different economic classes, I stumbled across a shocking revelation. Drugs could be the next big threat to the reputation and well-being of Pakistani society. In particular, the widespread usage and extremely easy access to drugs by teenagers.

According to my personal experience and analysis, at least 4 out of every 100 high school students have direct links to weed and alcohol dealers/hotspots. Its popularity has increased at such an extent that I have been witness to students taking up 'hash' in classrooms while hiding it inside their geometry boxes, pen-caps, wallets etc. A huge proportion of our 'new' generation has fallen victim to this evil.

Lackadaisical gaurdians are prime factor for the spread of this curse. As majority of its victims are those who don't get enough attention from parents and are regularly mistreated or even insulted in some instances by teachers. Thus a thirst to be 'accepted' and 'desired' by their peers drives them to this practice.

Banning the Shisha cafes was an appreciable step by Govt. as these places had an important role in encouraging drug community but it hasn`t been completely effective due to rampant corruption among the Police force. Counseling facilities and a massive campaign for public awareness should be immediately set up. Secondly, Government should regulate zero-tolerance policies for finding and closing of places promoting such practices. Teachers should be encouraged to focus on all students equally. Teenagers should be encouraged to devote their youthful energy to healthy avenues such as sports instead of dabbling in injurious practices such as these.

Three years ago .... Never start a sentence with numbers in an essay.


.... Ok, this is what I suggest and have a look;
Three years ago I studied in a popular public school which had a student body representing a cross section of different socio- economic backgrounds. With my keen interest in "Psychological Studies", I began to observe behaviors and attitudes of my fellow students and analyse them based on their social backgrounds.