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'Hungary, Goals, Movies..' - Personal Statement to Italy- motivation letter


5u2ie 1 / 1  
Jan 19, 2012   #1
Hello Essayforum, here's my personal statement but I don't feel confidence that it really represents how motivated I am and also the reason why I'll be an asset to the University. Also, I highlighted some words in red(I hope it can be seen)- I'm not sure if I used those terms correctly. I very much appreciate any reccomendations. Thank you for reading

PERSONAL STATEMENT

WHY XXXXX
By bearing my goals in mind and by doing a solid research I derived the conclusion that the Bachelor programme in Economics offered by the XXXXX is the dream-match for me. Its excellent reputation and the high level of preparation and integrated grounding it provides in Economics - along with the XXX program - caught my attention, as well as the opportunity to personalize my educational track. Such details alone utterly delighted me, but other facts/factors have strengthened my resolve. Talking to several current students about their impressions, discovering the acknowledgement of the teaching faculty (by seeing their role in decision-making for the Italian economy's financial crisis) and visiting Milan have made it my goal to attend XXXXX. Moreover, Milan is the ideal city for me to live in and to grow personally, since I've been studying Italian for several years and am fascinated by the Italian culture and mentality. In a city which is the engine powering the Italian economy and also the capital of fashion and design, I will find balance between challenging myself academically and interacting with a dynamic and colorful international metropolis. And the University's mission - to promote harmony between school and life -supports this. Equally important/importantly, I hope to develop long-term friendships and valuable relations along the large and diverse student body.

INTERNATIONAL BACKGROUND
Hungary's central location explains the existence of contrasting influences which have formed a great mixture of western innovations and eastern traditions. Growing up in this crossfire provided me with occasionally opposing ways of thinking, and also the need to look at both sides of the coin. To put this in practice, I studied a semester in the United States, and also have become an active member of a hospitality exchange website. While expanding my horizons by travelling, I've gained new interests and simultaneously, I learned to appreciate cultural diversity. My openness and initiative qualities enable me to succeed in an internationally diverse environment, especially because I attend and organize intercultural events successively and have greatly widened my multinational social-circle.

WHY ECONOMICS
I believe that logical thinking and creativity is just as crucial in everyday life as in operating a company and I have a firm conviction that given my competitive and challenge-taking attitude, I will acquire success. I'm setting new goals constantly, and by achieving them I get instant motivation, over satisfaction. My aim is to understand the complexity of the whole picture. I soak up information like a sponge and started to notice some connections, by spending an appreciable amount of my spare time on reading about and discussing current global issues regarding the business world and society as well. Taking my opportunities into account, my goal in the long run is either to build up and become a constructive member of a socially responsible company or to attain a research career, which contributes to a better world with special reference to international issues especially on the European platform, but over all, to leave a positive legacy to the world.

HOW I STAND OUT
In my free time I'm editing movies and sewing dresses- while sewing dreams -but because of my unquenchable thirst for knowledge I'm instinctively seeking in the ocean of opportunities to fulfil my potentials in a wide range of contexts. Thereafter I attended an Entrepreneurship and Business Management course with a strong emphasis on Ethics held at Corvinus University of Budapest, and also a business plan competition. It has far exceeded the investment of sweat and time, considering that I not only learned to lead a team, but also learned to appreciate the power of teamwork, not to mention that our business plan impressed both the judges and investors. Afterwards I took part in a monetary competition organized by the Hungarian Central Bank, and concurrently a stock market game, which gave me a taste of stock trading. Besides I have won membership to the Young Entrepreneurs Association, and since then I simultaneously interact with members and undertake volunteer work. Above all, what represent my competence, are my outstanding results at national competitions in Mathematics and English. Whereas success is the best motivation for me, Math has become my passion. By reviewing some of my extracurricular activities I believe I demonstrate capacity for sustaining effort and working hard along with competence in dynamic and high-level performance.

TO CONCLUDE
Finally, I place confidence in that with my letter I demonstrate motivation and potential to realize my ambitions and meet/exceed the requirements which the Universiy's motto- XXX - represents.
Thors Hammer 5 / 60  
Jan 19, 2012   #2
You are extremely well spoken and a very well rounded writer. Your balance of word choice and diction is smooth. Proceed with confidence as I am not able to find error in your work. You absolutely are over thinking your worries as I see no single fault. I hope to be able to convincingly flow with words like you, soon. Have a wonderful life...
OP 5u2ie 1 / 1  
Jan 26, 2012   #3
Your comment made me smile, but I'm getting more and more confused.. all my friends told me it's a nice but WEAK letter, and I still have no clue what's missing..


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