Home Is Not A Place - Issue of Importance UT Austin

This is the second essay I am asked to do for my transfer application to UT Austin. Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Juarez, Mexico, one of the most dangerous cities in the world is also the place where I was born. While growing up I was affected by the violence going on in my hometown. Thankfully, nothing happened to me or my family, but every single citizen was a victim of the violence because of the panic, fear, and general tension that struck the atmosphere of the city.

Drug related violence started in 2007, in certain areas of the city and gradually expanded. The images seen in the media were explicit and gruesome; the stories behind the murders were horrifying, like they were taking out from a movie, but no, everything was real. It was scary to leave the house, because there was a possibility you could get caught between a shooting, which happened out of the blue any time of day, everywhere in town. Paranoia invaded the city, businesses closed, people moved to other places, and nobody left their houses unless it was for work or school. At night the city was a ghost town, not a single soul was in the streets.

When this happened, I was in high school, which is supposed to be the best time of your life. I tried not to let the violence ruin my teenage years, but it was difficult, I thought it was unfair that I could not experience my youth the way I was supposed to, my parents would not let me hang out with my friends, although I knew they were trying to protect me, I wanted to be normal teenager, but the violence would not let me and it made me angry because I could not do anything to change the situation.

People continuously did protests to demand a stop, to ask the government to cease the situation, and while they tried, they could not put an end to it. The problem was so immense, no solution was effective enough. The citizens only had two options: learn how to live with it or leave. I was one of the people who lost hope and left. I could not resist anymore living with fear of my home; I needed to take a breath.

It was refreshing to live in a place where the people were calm, where imminent danger did not exist, but it also made realize the bravery and determination of the citizens of Juarez. Whenever I meet someone new, I always tell them the best thing about Juarez is its people. Which is absolutely true, they are brave because they are not afraid to speak up and defend their rights; they are determined because they keep fighting to demand justice; and they are hopeful because they see the greatness of the city and know things will get better. And it did.

Now I am back at Juarez, and while the fight against violence is no over, is amazing to see how the community is taking the city back to what it was, slowly but surely, and I feel proud to be a part of that. I had to go to learn that my home is not defined by a place; my home is defined by its people.

The deadline is in a week so I need feedback asap!

When this happened I was in high school, the best days of my life.


This is too long dear... you write very well, but still I don't encourage you to write such long sentences... If you break this up to two or three lines, it would flow much smoother :)

Also ... don't let the reader to remember so many things while reading.... he would find it boring