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My home has been interminably full of music; topic of your choice


austenj 1 / -  
Oct 12, 2012   #1
One of my earliest memories entails my father playing acoustic guitar while my not-yet-two-feet-tall self sat in a sling around his neck. From infancy to present day, my home has been interminably full of music. My parents took me to concerts before I could walk, and shortly after, they taught me the importance of appreciating quality music from all genres. My childhood lies rooted in a home of folk, rock, grunge, and blues, but transcending all genres exists the effervescent sense of passion imprinted upon me. This passion encompasses music that disregards age, gender, and location, the people whom I love more than anything, the education with which I have been provided, and the further education I seek at the present.

A calculus proof echoes like a song stuck in my head until I find the solution, and performing a strenuous piano piece feels akin to a physics final. While computer science and Bob Dylan may appear distant opposites, they both revive in me the sense of passion with which I was instilled at such a young age. The feeling that keeps me up all night listening to Eddie Vedder play guitar on the other side of the world is the same feeling that leads me to take another Java course online. Mirroring the care with which my favorite artists choose a set-list, I make decisions not on caprices but from my heart, with thoughts of my future and those around me.

Neil Young preaches that "the spirituality and soul of music is truly found when the sound engulfs you," and I seek that onrush of sound in both music and academics. A song played with raw, uninhibited feeling conveys emotions strong enough to widen perspectives and reveal the plight of others far removed from oneself. Music's potential to change the world rivals that of any academic discipline: protest singers of the 1960s played an integral role in shifting America's outlook on war in the same capacity that the internet instantaneously unites communities oceans apart. I wish to engulf myself in sound to feel the power of music, and I wish to engulf myself in education to harness the opportunities learning brings.

In addition to bestowing me with a refined yet eclectic taste for music, my parents gave me a lens with which to view every moment in my life. They approach new artists and old favorites with the same admirable and invigorating sense of passion that I strive to emulate. This zeal, the impetus behind my pursuit of education, lies embedded within me and dispersed throughout me; no matter the form or the magnitude of a challenge I face, I am aided by the vibrant and limitless willpower music brings to those who listen.
sogoldman 6 / 21 2  
Oct 28, 2012   #2
First off, this is a lovely and well-written essay. Nice work!
I especially like the analogies you make in the second paragraph. However, you jump to some conclusions way too quickly.

One of my earliest memories entails my father playing acoustic guitar while my not-yet-two-feet-tall self sat in a sling around his neck. From infancy to present day, my home has been interminably full of music This clause is modifying "my home." Thus, you're saying that your home has been full of music from [your home's] infancy to present say. If I'm wrong, please correct me. However, I would recommend that you write "My home has been interminably full of music from my infancy to present day. . My parents took me to concerts before I could walk, and shortly after, they taught me the importance of appreciating quality music from all genres. My childhood lies rooted in a home of folk, rock, grunge, and blues, but transcending all genres exists the effervescent sense of passion ( imprinted upon me) This is not necessary. . This passion encompasses music that disregards age, gender, and location,How does MUSIC disregard age, gender, and location? Do you mean "This passion disregards age, gender, and location and encompasses music, the people I love, etc."? Or perhaps you can just cut "disregards age, etc." all-together. the people whom I love more than anything, the education with which I have been provided, and the further education I seek at the present.

A calculus proof echoes like a song stuck in my head until I find the solution, and performing a strenuous piano piece feels akin to a physics final. While computer science and Bob Dylan may appear distant opposites, they both revive in me the sense of passion with which I was instilled at such a young age. The feeling that keeps me up all night listening to Eddie Vedder play guitar on the other side of the world is the same feeling that leads me to take another Java course online. All of these analogies are very solid and definitely contribute to your main idea. Good job! Mirroring the care with which my favorite artists choose a set-list, I make decisions not on caprices but from my heart, with thoughts of my future and those around me. Whoa! You made a big jump to a very significant generalization, and it is a little too abrupt to be believable. I think this would be appropriate/genuine-sounding if you provide a specific example (as you did at the beginning of the paragraph) of how you make thoughtful, selfless, prudent decisions.

Neil Young preaches that "the spirituality and soul of music is truly found when the sound engulfs you," and I seek that onrush of sound in both music and academics. A song played with raw, uninhibited feeling conveys emotions strong enough to widen perspectives and reveal the plight of others far removed from oneself. Music's potential to change the world rivals that of any academic discipline: protest singers of the 1960s played an integral role in shifting America's outlook on war in the same capacity that the internet instantaneously unites communities oceans apart. The anti-war movement does not seem super related to the Internet (by the way, is Internet/internet capitalized? I'm pretty sure it is.). Perhaps if you made a more explicit connection btwn the two. It shouldn't be too hard. "The protest singers brought people together from across the country to shift America's outlook in the same capacity that the Internet unites communities and allows for instantaneous exchange of ideas."? I actually don't like my sentence too much, but I'm sure you can figure something out. I wish to engulf myself in sound to feel the power of music, and I wish to engulf myself in education to harness the opportunities learning brings.

In addition to bestowing me with a refined yet eclectic taste for music, my parents gave me a lens with which to view every moment in my life. They approach new artists and old favorites with the same admirable and invigorating sense of passion that I strive to emulate. This zeal, the impetus behind my pursuit of education, lies embedded within me and dispersed throughout me Choose one. ; no matter the form or the magnitude of a challenge I face, I am aided by the vibrant and limitless willpower music brings to those who listen.

Lovely essay! Very interesting and unique.


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