I would be very appreciated if somebody helps me correcting my grammar mistakes and any other awkward sentences. Thank you! =)
At the University of Maryland, we value a diverse community. How have your life experiences and background shaped you into an individual who will enrich the University of Maryland community?
At the University of Maryland, I do not only look forward to maintain my scholastic performances, but I also plan to participate in diverse student organizations and activities. As an immigrant student who moved to America in my freshman year of high school, I had a hard time fitting into a new culture especially a different school system. Since school was the place that I spent most of my time, the only help that I could get was from my teachers and classmates. I was fortunate to have many great friends and teachers who helped and guided me through a better educational path as well as a new lifestyle in America.
By living in two very different cultures, I fully understand the importance of diversity in the community, which will be helpful because University of Maryland is a melting pot. There will be students from all types of cultures and ethnicity and I believe that I can be the one who understands those students' educational and emotional needs.
From my experience with volunteering at a local middle school's after-school program and a local Korean community, I learned how to be patient, work, and interact with other people who came from various backgrounds and cultures. Those experiences turned out to be my best volunteering memories. Working with many people from different cultures also motivated me to pursue my career in the field of education and make a difference in the lives of others.
I am confident that I will not only be an academic student but also actively demonstrate good leadership in a multicultural society. I know that sharing my diverse experiences that I have had will motivate my classmates for exploring a new world of multiculturalism.
I am very up for challenges; I always try to spend as much time as I can to explore a new culture. And I believe that University of Maryland will be the place where I can fully experience a diverse community along with the great program and curriculum which will be the pathway for my successful life and career as a future educator of America.
Hi, i feel that you have adequately answered the prompt. You have briefly described your background and your experiences that have shaped you into who you are today :)
All the best and hope my comments are helpful :)
At the University of Maryland, I look forward not only to maintaining my scholastic performance , but also to planning and participating in diverse student organizations and activities.
As an immigrant student who moved to America in my freshman year of high school, I had a hard time fitting into a new culture, especially a different school system.
By living in two very different cultures, I came to fully understand the importance of diversity in the community, which will be helpful because University of Maryland is a melting pot.
There will be students from all types of cultures and ethnicities , and I believe that I can be the one who understands those students' educational and emotional needs.
I am very prepared for challenges; I always try to spend as much time as I can to explore a new culture. I believe that University of Maryland will be the place where I can fully experience a diverse community along with the great program and curriculum which will be the pathway for my successful life and career as a future educator of America.
They will definitely like this essay!
From my experience with volunteering at a local middle school's after-school program and a local Korean community, I learned how to be patient when working and interacting with other people who came from various backgrounds and cultures. (ur original sentence is against parallel structure :D)
