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'the guiding philosophy' - FSU application essay


Shaenat 2 / 4  
Sep 9, 2008   #1
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

This is the 1st paragraph of my essay

"Vires? Artes? Mores?' what does that mean?" people might wonder what it means when they first step into Florida State University unless they knew Latin. The three words play a huge role at FSU because it has known as the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. But the three words are not going to be important to us if we do not know the meaning of it. 'Vires' means strength of all kinds, 'Artes' indicates the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art, and 'Mores' refers to character, custom, or tradition.
OP Shaenat 2 / 4  
Sep 9, 2008   #2
can you tell me the grammar errors and how my other paragraphs should be like
OP Shaenat 2 / 4  
Sep 10, 2008   #3
I kinda redid the essay. Please tell me if there are any errors and also of my paragraph is good this time.

Throughout my school life I had done many things I wanted to do besides learning the mandatory subjects. There are things I love to do besides school work such as sing, and dance. "Vires, Artes, and Mortes" plays a huge role in singing, and dancing.

By dancing, and singing I learned that even though I have the talent, it is not going to be enough because to compete with the others I needed more practice and I had to put my 100 percent effort to it. It wasn't easy, but to get to the fairy world I knew I had to go through a hard path.

Dancing and Singing also helped me to gain physical strength. And it also helped me to get over my fears of facing a crowd, which will help me with my major in Television Broadcasting. And it also helped me to express my feelings in a song.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Sep 10, 2008   #4
Good afternoon.

"Throughout my school life I have done many things I wanted to do besides learning the mandatory subjects. There are things I love to do besides school work such as sing (Remove comma) and dance. "Vires, Artes, and Mortes" play a huge role in singing (Remove comma) and dancing.

By dancing (Remove comma) and singing I learned that even though I have the talent, it is not going to be enough because to compete with the others I needed more practice and I had to put all of my effort in to it. It was not easy, but to get to the fairy worldWhat is this? I knew I had to go through a hard path.

Dancing and s inging also helped me to gain physical strength. They also helped me to get over my fears of facing a crowd, which will help me with my major in t elevision b roadcasting."

Much better.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP Shaenat 2 / 4  
Sep 10, 2008   #5
thank you so much. But i still have a hard time figuring out how to connect the prompt to my personal life. Can you please give me an example
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Sep 11, 2008   #6
Good morning.

As I am not familiar with your personal life, I cannot give a specific example to you. What I can give are broad suggestions. You have done a good job connecting Artes to your life, but what about the other two? How have strength and moral character impacted your life?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP Shaenat 2 / 4  
Sep 11, 2008   #7
thank you
i want to connect television broadcasting to Artes, Vires, and Mortes
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Sep 11, 2008   #8
Unfortunately, you are the only one that can provide your own personal story to connect it to.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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