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My grandfather, Fred Murko - transition from childhood to adulthood - event.


hcall5 1 / -  
Nov 26, 2013   #1
This is for the Common Application (250-650 words).

Every year, hundreds if not thousands of college applicants write about their experience on an international mission trip, but for me writing about anything else would be disingenuous. Apart from the exposure to a developing country and the harsh reality that I took nearly everything thing in my life for granted, I was able to see my dad and the family business in a new light.

My grandfather, Fred Murko, founded Virginia Prosthetics Inc. in 1966 with the vision of improving other's lives by providing well-fitting prosthetics to the injured veterans he treated in his physical therapy practice. My father, Doug Call, joined the business in 1985, and later took over as the owner with the same vision of assisting amputees. Motivated to broaden his impact, my father decided to travel to the Dominican Republic to provide indigent amputees with prosthetics, and he wished for me to accompany him, partly because he does not speak Spanish.

As a result of three visits to the Dominican Republic, I was able to see the work my father does and understand the process of making and fitting a prosthesis. I also was blessed to meet many people during these trips who had some incredible stories. One man, born blind, lost his right leg just below the hip in a moped accident while his brother was driving. When I talked to him about his accident he did not view it as an impediment; he was lighthearted and felt lucky just to be alive. After my dad presented him with the prosthetic leg that he had measured for him the year before, the man told me that he is the luckiest man in world just to be able to walk again. I cannot imagine being in this man's shoes. It made me realize how astonishingly fortunate I am, and how I needed to stop taking things for granted.

These trips to the Dominican Republic were crucial to my growth into the person I am today. They changed my personality as I learned to show appreciation for everything. Moreover, I now see my dad's business differently. Before traveling to the Dominican Republic I thought my father just ran a business, providing amputees with prosthetics. I never realized the miraculous effect it has on the amputee. Whether they are able to walk again with a new prosthetic leg or to pick objects up with a new artificial hand, it changes that person's life forever. I also have a new found respect for my father, and I am proud that his job is able to have such a significant impact on less fortunate people.

I do not know what I want to do for a career yet, but thanks to my experiences, I know I want to carry on the family tradition of improving the lives of others.
shabbir2424 2 / 6  
Nov 28, 2013   #2
hcall5
It is nicely written, here I would just like to say that there were some grammatical mistakes which are needed to be taken care of.

Other than that your description seems to be good.
Virgo 2 / 4 1  
Nov 28, 2013   #3
partly because he does not speak Spanish

The only thing I can infer from this part is that you know how to speak Spanish while your dad doesn't. I wish you'd find another reason as to why he brought you along. If this is the sole reason why you were suddenly whisked away to the D.R., then I feel this is really misplaced.

One man, born blind, lost his right leg just below the hip in a moped accident while his brother was driving

OK OK! There are A LOT of things happening in this sentence. It's so animated that it confused me. Please focus it more!

I never realized the miraculous effect it has on the amputees

I never realized the miraculous effectsthey had on the amputees

or to pick objects up with a new artificial hand

or are able to pick objects up with a new artificial hand

it changes that person's life forever

the prosthetics change that person's life forever

Solid essay. I wish it were longer with more anecdotes about how the prosthetics look and how they've truly affected the community that you saw.


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