is this OK?
It is January 1st and we are celebrating the New Year in traditional Japanese fashion. My whole family and I settle around the table to enjoy New Year delicacies at my grandmother's home. My grandma continues to scurry around the house making sure everyone is comfortable and everything is perfect. Many know this to be the typical ways of a grandma, always putting everyone before themselves, but this does not even begin to describe the sacrifices my grandmother has made for our family.
During World War II, my grandma and her family were ripped away from their family business and home in Pismo Beach, California. Overnight, they were ordered to abandon life as they once knew it, to join others of Japanese descent in one of many internment camps located across the country; theirs being in Poston, Arizona. During the later days of my grandma's internment, her mother had an aneurysm and died. Being the only girl of five children, she was now in charge of caring for her four brothers and father. She cooked, cleaned, and assumed the role of the maternal figure at the early age of thirteen. My grandma's experiences have instilled a strength and a will to achieve any goals that I set for myself. When I encounter an obstacle, I simply compare my small hurdle to the substantial difficulties my grandmother had to endure. In today's society, the medical field is considered to be one of the toughest programs that one can pursue, but I am determined to achieve my lifelong dream no matter how difficult the journey. With my grandma's character in mind I know I will succeed.
In addition, upon being let out of the internment camp, their family did not have any money and there was no way for my grandmother to continue her education beyond high school. It was always her dream to attend college and I want to make sure that I achieve that goal in her spirit. She has always held a good education of the highest importance, working hard to make sure her children could attend college and pursue a successful career. My grandmother's hardships have made me realize how fortunate I am to have the education that I do. I jump at any opportunity to learn and better myself as a person, never taking for granted what life has to offer. Through my grandmother's insight I will become that doctor I have always aspired to be.
Many know this to be the typical manner of a grandma, always putting everyone before themselves. But this does not even begin to describe the sacrifices my grandmother has made for our family.
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During World War II, my grandma and her family were ripped away from the family business and home in Pismo Beach, California. Overnight, they were ordered to abandon life as they once knew it and joined others of Japanese descent in an internment camps located across the country; theirs being in Poston, Arizona. During the later days of my grandma's internment, her mother had an aneurysm and died.
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Whenever I encounter an obstacle I simply think of how it compares to the substantial difficulties my grandmother had to endure.
"In today's society, the medical field is considered to be one of the toughest programs that one can pursue, but I am determined to achieve my lifelong dream no matter how difficult the journey. With my grandma's character in mind I know I will succeed."
These lines seemed a little out of place to me, they didn't particularly connect or flow from the previous lines. Try to work on the flow a little bit. Otherwise it is a satisfactory essay.
Good Luck.
Many know this to be the ways of a typical grandma, always putting everyone else's needs before her own, but this does not even begin to describe the sacrifices my grandmother has made for our family.
With my grandma's character in mind, I know I will succeed.
This is great! Now, can you somehow connect this inspiration from your grandma to th special programs and resources provided by the school? Just give one more sentence or so to connect it to the school.
is this better? im unsure, it sounds a bit choppy
In addition, upon being let out of the internment camp, their family did not have any money and there was no way for my grandmother to continue her education beyond high school. It was always her dream to attend college and I want to make sure that I achieve that goal in her spirit. She has always held a good education of the highest importance, working hard to make sure her children could attend college and pursue a successful career. My grandmother's hardships have made me realize how fortunate I am to have the education that I do. I jump at any opportunity to learn and better myself as a person, never taking for granted what life has to offer. By means of Boston University's biology program and my grandmother's insight, I will be put on the right path toward medical school and become the doctor I have always aspired to be.
i think that you should include more personal experiences that have been inspired by your grandmother.
