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"to get good grades" - Personal statement on academic performance



sereneskyThreads: 2
Posts: 4
Author: Joanne Yam
   
Sep 24, 2010, 12:37am   #1
My word count is 375 while limit is 250 /: Need a way to shorten it down a bit. The prompt was provide information that will help us better understand your academic performance.

Maintaining an above average GPA had paid a toll on my mind but if you learn from it, you'll eventually overcome it. Throughout my years in school, I've stressed myself to get good grades under no circumstances but what I lacked was memorization. I had a poor memory in remembering certain things I've learned and had a tendency to forget what I learned easily, making me look back at the previous notes. My weakest subject might've been history because of it; I couldn't remember dates of historical events and forget the sequence of events. One day I looked at my world history teacher's list of recommendation for AP World History, my name was nowhere to be found. I expected that because I was an average student for history but that gut feeling made me want to give it a try, so I asked the teacher, and there I was, in AP World History. The course was interesting but soon enough, my poor memorization started to take its action that no matter how hard I studied, dates and sequence just wouldn't budge into my mind. Not surprised, I failed the exam with a 2. It was devestating at first, but I knew I shouldn't let that one grade bring me down and I gave myself another chance by taking AP Biology while learning something valuable while taking this course. I developed a passion for Biology because of the way my teacher explained every piece of information and preparing materials for us to get a better insight of it which helped me improve my memory. I wasn't the best student in the class and felt way below because everyone scored so high on their class exams while I scored within the median. The feeling of no hope struck me again but I pushed myself to study, to memorize, to rewrite and reread notes as much as I can to remember. My expectations weren't high and remained a 3 but when the AP exam came around, compared to my history exam, I felt more confidence and more potential in myself. All that work paid off when scores came in the mail in July. Without hesitation, I opened it, and in front of my eyes, I saw a 4.



donrocksThreads: 5
Posts: 133
Author: Siddharth Bhandari
   
Sep 24, 2010, 06:20am   #2
I remember when I was writing my first 250 limit essay. I went and hit 376 words. It took three weeks to snip and then get the final draft. I spent half an hour on your essay and made these corrections or one should say editing. Hope this helps because I pulled it down to 275. 100 words less. :)
Throughout my years in school, I've stressed myself to get good grades under every circumstances but I couldn't memorize. I had a poor memory in remembering what I've learned and usually muddled up, forced look back at the previous notes.
My weakest subject might've been history because I forgot dates of historical events and the sequence of events. I looked at my world history teacher's list of recommendation for AP World History, my name was nowhere to be found. I expected that because I was an average student. Something made me want to give it a try, so I asked the teacher, and there I was, in AP World History. The course was interesting but soon enough, that no matter how hard I studied, dates and sequence just wouldn't enter my mind. Not surprisingly, I failed the exam with a 2.
It was devastating at first, but I knew I shouldn't let that one grade bring me down. So I took another chance by taking AP Biology. I developed a passion for Biology because of my teacher. His explanation was great and preparing materials which helped me improve my memory. I wasn't the best student in the class and felt way below because everyone scored so high in his class exams while I scored average. The feeling of hopelessness struck me again but I pushed myself to study, to memorize, to rewrite and reread notes to prove a point. My expectations weren't high but this exam unlike history, I felt more confident and hopeful.
My hardwork paid off when scores came in the mail in July. Without hesitation, I opened it, and I saw a 4.


walsh1704Threads: 1
Posts: 5
Author: Melinda Walsh
   
Sep 24, 2010, 06:47am   #3
serenesky

Here you go 249 words!


Throughout my school-years, I've stressed myself to get good grades under every circumstances but I couldn't memorize. I had a poor memory; consequently, I would muddle up the facts, forced look back at the previous notes.
My weakest subject was history because I forgot dates of historical events and the sequence of events. Originally, my world history teacher didn't recommended me for AP World History, which I expected that because I was an average student. Something made me want to try, so I asked the teacher, and there I was, in AP World History. The course was interesting but soon enough, no matter how hard I studied; dates and sequences just wouldn't enter my mind. Not surprisingly, I failed the exam with a 2.
At first, I was devastated but I knew I shouldn't let that one grade deter me. So I took another chance by enrolling in AP Biology. I developed a passion for Biology because of my teacher. His explanation was great and preparing materials which helped me improve my memory. I wasn't the best student in the class and fell way below the class average. The feeling of hopelessness struck me again but I pushed myself to study, to memorize, to rewrite and reread notes to prove a point. My expectations weren't high but this exam unlike history, I felt more confident and hopeful.
My hardwork paid off when scores arrived in the mail in July. Without hesitation, I opened it, and I saw a 4!


donrocksThreads: 5
Posts: 133
Author: Siddharth Bhandari
   
Sep 25, 2010, 02:57am   #4
250 and not 249.
You must add "to" after forced.
Hey, good job Melinda. :)


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Sep 27, 2010, 12:59pm   #5
serenesky:
Maintaining an above average GPA had paid a toll on my mind but if you learn from it, you'll eventually overcome it.

I don't understand this sentence...
Maintaining an above average GPA had taken a toll on my mind, but if I learn from the struggle I will eventually overcome it.

Actually, I like the idea of cutting that sentence out:
Maintaining an above average GPA had paid a toll on my mind but if you learn from it, you'll eventually overcome it. Throughout my years...

:-)




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