Ok, guys...
The prompt is pretty self-explanatory: why do I want to transfer? This is a pretty broad essay since it's for the Common Application and each school requires their own supplement, so this is my general essay. My concern is whether or not I should go more in depth, but it's difficult for me to do that when I can only use this essay for all the schools. So, ultimately, I just stated what caused me to want to transfer and why.
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During my first semester at Penn State University, I worked hard to achieve the best grades while pursuing my ultimate passion of becoming a professional journalist at our student-run newspaper The Daily Collegian. I was propelled into a world of unexpected dreams and nightmares. I met interesting friends and peers, wrote many stories endlessly, sometimes exceeding the senior reporter quota, and had the opportunity to experience actual media during the Jerry Sandusky case - an amazing time to be a freshman journalist. Nevertheless, I loved every minute of my time in The Collegian. However, I soon realized I do not want to pursue journalism as my career. During this time, I became more fascinated with media than ever before and wanted to place my focus to Film and Television writing.
When I began to notice Penn State students and residents of State College respond to the string of events, a wonderful opportunity arose, during which I observed how people consumed media coverage of the Sandusky case. As the attention became centralized on Joe Paterno, I became intrigued by the perceptions of outsiders. My friends would ask me if the perpetrator of the abused children was Paterno himself. Nevertheless, the influence of television broadcast stations and the Internet has played a large portion of the misconception. With the everlasting and imminent role of media consumerism increasing, I suddenly became interested in the influence of moving images. I am currently a pre-Media Studies major, but the program at Penn State is entirely academic and offer limited film based courses. Increasingly, my interests are developing with film and television.
An invaluable quote of W.E.B. Du Bois from Dr. Laurie Scheuble's course Introductory to Sociology resonated with me:
"It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity."
In junction with Dr. Kevin Hagopian's course The Art of Cinema, I connected my newly found knowledge to my personal experience with the case at The Collegian. From an outsider's perspective, I must look at them, the entire student body at Penn State, through the eyes of the students; but instead of measuring their souls with contempt and pity, I must measure my own soul equally with theirs. Your program's philosophy inspires me to further investigate my concern and fascination of social and culture depictions in films.
My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic. I have made good friends, studied with some terrific professors, and gained an array of valuable skills. However, there is one non-academic reason for my interest in your institution. I originally applied to Penn State because it was comfortable - I come from upstate Washington and State College felt like home. I am now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that are not quite so familiar. State College and upstate Washington was one such environment, and the urban environment of your institution would be another.
As my transcript shows, I have been making a steady improvement at Penn State compared to my high school grades. I am convinced with everything I have experienced here, I can meet the academic challenges of your university. As a member of the diverse student community, I am certain that this is a place where I would grow. Your institution fits my academic interests and professional goals.
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This is just under 600 words and I would like to keep it under that. Thanks, guys.
Hello Dae-Hyun
Your essay is great grammatically, but your reasoning is not strong. I will respond to your essay on solely a strategy level. If your plans are to attend either NYU or USC, your best best is to continue with the journalism route. Once you are in, your can declare your desired major or apply for an internal transfer into the program you really want. The reality is that NYU and USC, more than most other undergraduate schools in the world, have amazing media studies departments. Thousands apply to these programs yearly. Many of these applicants have years and years of actual involvement with film and media- this will be even more-so true for transfer students. You do not have any tangible experience with this field(at least from what you writ in your essay). You do however have great experience with journalism and both of these schools have great journalism departments in great big journalistic towns. Sticking with the journalism route will most likely double or even triple your chances for admissions. - Admissions advice online .com
@admissions,
Thank for your honest feedback, I appreciate it. I'm also concerned that my interests for the media studies program is not quite strong enough, but my experience with high school and college journalism might get me into either schools. I'm thinking about changing just a little bit of the things around in this essay to make it more journalism-related. I'm thinking about applying to USC School of Annenberg and NYU Journalism. My grades are pretty good right now (around a 3.7), much better than my 3.4 in high school. I do have lots of newspaper related experience now that I think about it lol. So, I should go for the journalism route and once i'm in, then attempt to transfer internally? I also think either schools considers applicants to their second choice majors. My second choice major is Art History or English. Tell me what you think? Thanks!
Also, would this essay be strong or a good start for a transfer?
Edit: oh, one last thing. I'm going to add this in somewhere in the essay, but my reason to transfer is that Penn State does not offer a Communication degree. They only have Journalism and Media Studies. I actually wanted to major in Communication really bad, but they only have the Speech-pathology for communication. Yes, I want to major in Communication, don't make fun of me lol.
