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'first year in high school' + 'trips to Peru' - UCF statements



jennipurThreads: 1
Posts: 1
Author: Jennifer Medina
   
Nov 27, 2011, 02:41pm   #1
Prompts:
#1) What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?

#2) How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?


DISCLAIMER: This one is pretty sloppy, I really have a lot to fix, but I would appreciate a revision, thank you!

#1) My first year in high school turned out to be my worst, and ironically, one in which I learned the most. As a nervous, socially awkward shy girl, I found myself sitting alone in most of my classes. Never had I known what it felt like to be isolated from society, and my grades dropped as a result. I remember turning in an assignment to my teacher one morning. She reluctantly took it, and said "Do I even have to grade this?" While at the moment the comment stung me like a hornet, little did I know it would be the catalyst to my change in attitude.
During the fall of 2009, my parents had me transfer to a school closer to home. Things changed from then on. I took to exceeding the limit; there was always a voice in my head telling me to go beyond the qualifications that were expected of me. If looking at an obstacle led to the unraveling of some hesitation within me, I would try to overcome that challenge. For example, I'm currently working on a writing project called NaNoWriMo in which contestants are required to write a novel with a minimum of 50,000 words within a month. There is no material profit, only the satisfaction of having completed a challenge that tests my creativity and time-management skills.
I may not be an Eistein or a Maslow, but I've learned from my mistakes and look forward to a new day with new endeavors. And personally, I believe that's one of the best qualities a person can have.



#2) I remember hauling my rolling Barbie backpack over the tiled floor of the Peruvian airport, anticipating the moment I would see my grandfather's warm smile again.
During my trips to Peru, I would immerse myself into the astronomical wonders of the night sky. My grandfather and I would stargaze with the refractor telescope he had stored in his study-room; I was always awe-struck at the celestial bodies we'd see, and his brief explanation of each.
In the day-time we'd take walks around the park in Jirasoles. Grandpa would always talk about Einstein's Theory of Relativity and how it applied to social situations. Although the concept was hard to grasp at a young age, as I grew older it began to make sense; peoples' beliefs are subjective to their experiences. Knowing this, I became tolerant to people's beliefs, even if they contradicted my own.

I'm thinking of a conclusion for this one.



kkelsey82Threads: 2
Posts: 10
Author: Kim Duke
   
Dec 3, 2011, 02:17pm   #2
Your writing seems to flow smoothly and makes very good sense. I don't see any errors.




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