I know my essay sounds a little boring so if there is any advice, please do tell.
Oh... that means it does not have the energy of inspiration. When you feel that inspired feeling well up in you, the chill up your spine, it is as though anything you write will be great. But if you try to write when you are not inspired it is difficult and unsuccessful.
The evolution of science is dependent upon the improvement of procedures and methods. ---I changed a word here.
Over the years of my life, I have accumulated a great interest toward the field of science. You used too many words to express an idea that does not even need to be expressed here...
The unique traits
of solutions and the and complex chemical reactions within the human bodies have always
marveled fascinated me.
These This obsession with biological science drew me to the discipline of biochemistry. (Now add a thesis sentence at the end of the first paragraph. Let it be a sentence that expresses the main concept of the essay, the concept you want the reader to remember, the concept that is worth writing about. Express it in a sentence! :-)
I like that last paragraph!
Rajiv, I agree, Kate is mean!! lol