I am submitting my app this weekend, please give me input!
The time that I have spent at x has initiated many changes in my life; changes in my interests, aspirations for my future, and most importantly a change in mindset. During my three semesters here I have established a sense of purpose as a student, developed an efficient work ethic, and attained an ambition to excel academically, all of which I was lacking in the past. Throughout high school I was always considered an "average" student. Although I believe that I had potential, I never had the motivation to push myself to escape mediocrity. Recently, I've started to see things from a whole new perspective though. After my first semester of college, I experienced a change that would finally allow me to free myself of the confines of being a run-of-the-mill student.
It was at this point that I considered pursuing medicine. This helped guide me to find a new sense of enthusiasm to achieve my full potential academically. For the first time in years, I found myself genuinely fascinated by schoolwork. As a newly proclaimed science major, I was captivated by the material in my general chemistry and molecular biology classes, and knowing that these subjects make up not even one-millionth of the scientific world has left me eager to delve deeper into this ever-expanding field. This recent reformation of my ambitions has led me on a search for a new academic setting that will better suit my interests.
Attending x has done much more than just helping me mature as a student. It has given me the opportunity to learn from outstanding professors, establish a close-knit group of friends, and to experience the great city of Boston. While I have definitely enjoyed my experience at x, I feel that I would benefit from a school with a more motivated student population, as well as a broader array of course offerings and research opportunities for science majors.
By transferring, I would like to attend an institution in which I can explore my passion for science in depth amongst a student body that wholeheartedly wants to learn, and is faced with challenges that will really test their abilities. I want to become integrated in a community that is involved both in and out of the classroom; one that consists of an eclectic variety of students with a wide range of interests. I hope to be granted admission to a university that offers a fulfilling experience both socially and academically; one that can provide a topnotch education in the biological sciences and humanities. If I am admitted, I will not only benefit from a new environment, but contribute to it as well. I may not have been the valedictorian of my class, and I did not get a perfect score on my SATs, but I know that my motivation will allow me to succeed at your school.
Thank you!
Recently, I've started to see things from a whole new perspective though.
.... sounds better without "though"
Recently I've began to see things from a whole different perspective.Very good introductory para... You have written it well
This helped guide me to find a new sense of enthusiasm to achieveutilizing my full potential academically.
amongst a student body that wholeheartedly wants to learn,
... this is not bad... however, following is my suggestion;
amongst a student body that is seriously committed to learn.In my view, you have presented a very good answer. I wish if you posted the prompt so that our comments would have been more aligned with it.
However, good job & good luck!
