'Expanding socially after high-school' - Common app "A part of a whole" essay

Hello,

This is an essay i wrote for the transfer application essay that will be used for the fall 2013. I was wondering if you could please review my essay and respond with any errors, suggestions, etc. I need help on my conclusion as well. The question is...

"Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve."

ESSAY:

Continuing my education has always been important to me in the hopes of intellectually expanding my knowledge in the computer science field. I am currently attending the Community College of Vermont which has provided me with flexible opportunities in finding my area of study. CCV has been a smart and efficient way to start my college career because of the tools they utilized in preparing me for a four year institution. Not only did I strive to find the right career path that interests me, but also finding one that is guaranteed a job post graduation. My academic record at the Community College of Vermont has been average, but with great room for improvement. I know that I have the potential to perform in astronomical ways because I know what I want to study. The University of Vermont would benefit my academic achievements because of the multicultural student body, financial stability, and student life.

I have always perceived college as a way to expand socially after high school; however, attending CCV has limited my abilities in joining clubs, sports and extracurricular activities because there is an absence of an active student body. About four months ago, I attending the University of Vermont Latin dinner held in the Davis Center. The livelihood and positive energy each student had while sharing their various cultural experiences over a community made dinner was heartwarming for me. During the dinner, I thought to myself how I wished I could be an active part of this University to share my cultural and life experiences. Since the University of Vermont has close to 14,000 lively students, I believe it would increase my potential in learning because of the constant positive energy from the students.

Attending the Community of Vermont has also been a financially maturing experience for me. I have developed a better understanding that the cost of education is not recyclable and that it must be appreciated in full. My desire to learn and work ethic has increased from my attendance at CCV because of the mistakes that I have made academically. My performance has not leveled up to my expectations and I know that I have the right potential to meet them at the University of Vermont.