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Escaping my comfort zone; University of Richmond Supplement essay


katev 18 / 120 24  
Dec 22, 2012   #1
Hello, this is my first draft for my Richmond supplement essay. It gets kind of choppy and strange at the end. I am looking for lots of constructive criticism, so any feedback is much appreciated! I know it is long, but I will review your essays if you review mine (I can provide a lot of feedback!)

Here is the prompt:

Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you? Length should be approximately 1-2 pages, double-spaced

I was walking through a thrift store when something caught my eye. However, upon the urging of my friends to leave the store, I had no choice but to leave behind the sleek robin's egg blue typewriter that I had noticed. For some unexplained reason, I couldn't stop thinking about that typewriter when I returned home. I asked my father if we had any old typewriters in our attic. Although his reply was not what I was initially hoping for, what he said next would only reinforce my fascination with the typing machine. By pure coincidence, my father had almost brought home a typewriter that he noticed, as he thought I might be interested in it. He was certainly correct, as I spent the next few days researching typewriters. As I read articles on the history of the typewriter and the mechanics of the machine, I started seeing the names of different types of keyboards, mainly The Sholes layout, otherwise known as QWERTY, and the Dvorak layout. This sparked my interest. I had certainly heard of the QWERTY keyboard; it is what is found on all modern phones and computers. It was the keyboard that was unfamiliar to me, the Dvorak keyboard, that I wanted to learn more about. I soon stumbled upon an interesting article that detailed the history of the Dvorak method. I soon became educated on the many downfalls of the QWERTY keyboard as well as the many benefits of the Dvorak design. Dvorak had arranged the keys in a way that simultaneously improves accuracy and allows for faster typing, all while requiring less finger motion. By the end of the article, I was convinced.

That day, I decided to completely rearrange my keyboard and start learning the Dvorak method. When others asked why my laptop keyboard looked so odd, I told them of my spontaneous decision. I was met with plenty of odd looks and some occasional blatant laughter. I spent weekends adapting to the new typing style. I was met with the initial difficulty that I had expected. Because of my daily school typing classes that I took since the fifth grade, I had become proficient with the QWERTY keyboard. Learning the Dvorak keyboard was like learning another language. The keys were in entirely new places; it was like a new alphabet. However, I preserved because other converts had assured me that the benefits would be far worth the time outside of my comfort zone. I sat in classes trying my hardest to remember which letter was in which spot. I had never realized how truly reliant I was on my old keyboard. I was completely vulnerable. I had reverted back to my fifth grade self, struggling to hammer out the keys one by one. I no longer typed at eighty words per minute. Instead, I was typing at a snail-like pace of ten words per minute. I knew that it was my choice to put myself out of my comfort zone and that I had the choice to stop at any time, but I was determined to push through it. A faster, more accurate, and healthier way of typing was close in my grasp.

While most would argue that stepping outside of one's comfort zone involves something along the lines of skydiving or bungee jumping, I believe that going outside of one's comfort zone simply involves choosing to do something that you would not normally do. I was certainly hesitant to completely change my way of thinking, but I was eager to gain a new perspective on things. It is human nature to stick to what we are used to; we are creatures of habit. However, stepping beyond our daily habits can lead us to gain appreciation for the small things. Since fifth grade I have been able to type at hyper-speed without even glancing at my keyboard. Switching to the Dvorak layout forced me to completely rewire my brain. I had to take a step back and think about what I was doing. From my brain to my fingers to the keys, I thought about every little action I made during the learning process. I was in a situation similar to learning how to walk and talk. Having completed the primary level of education and almost completed the secondary level, I rarely have had to learn something entirely new and foreign. Choosing to challenge my brain led me to a refreshing change in perspective. By simply rearranging my keyboard, I have stopped allowing myself to be defined by what I do everyday. I no longer consider myself a creature of habit. Rather, I am a creature of curiosity and discovery.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 22, 2012   #2
In fact, about 50 years ago it was quite commonplace.

This gives the impression as if you knew it for 50 years... I don't think you are in your fiftees ; )

I was convinced that I was facing the worst of it, and that a faster, more accurate, and healthier way of typing would be well worth the few weeks of struggle.

.... tell them what made that conviction! How did this experience benefit you? What you learned out of it, both technically and personally? You explain your experience in detail, but we cannot figure out how you had been benefited by this whole exercise. You need to fill that gap!
OP katev 18 / 120 24  
Dec 23, 2012   #3
Thank you for your feedback, dumi!
I have made many revisions that I hope help answer the question.
I am looking to take out a few things, as it exceeds 2 pages by just 2 sentences.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 23, 2012   #4
However, upon the urging of my friends to leave the store, I had no choice but to leave behind the sleek robin's egg blue typewriter that I had noticed.

However, since I couldn't annoy my friends anymore, I left the store leaving behind the sleek robin's egg blue typewriter that caught my serious attention.

Although his reply was not what I was initially hoping for, what he said next would only reinforce my fascination with the typing machine.

This sounds confusing. Tell things in a more simple tone!
Also what reply did you hope to receive from him initially? What was his next reply? :( ...


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