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Diversity & Change/Motivation Clarkson Honors - What can i contribute


tutu51595 6 / 19 3  
Jan 19, 2013   #1
How will you contribute to the Honors Program at Clarkson University? 250 wrds max. this essay is 244

I believe that I would be a great addition to the Clarkson Honors family because I am a dedicated, energetic, hard working individual with big dreams and an immense amount of determination to back me up.

As president of the Gateway Honors Society student council, I am familiar with the responsibilities that go hand-in-hand with being a leader. My experiences in high school have taught me that individuality, inquisitiveness, and compassion lead to success but it is hard work that will point me in the right direction. At Clarkson, I can more than offer all of these life lessons that I have learned. My individuality comes from my boldness to be different. I am not afraid to stand out from the crowd or to explore new, unconventional ideas and methods to better my environment. My inquisitive mind comes from my thirst for knowledge. The more I know, the more ready I am for anything the world can throw at me. Lastly, my compassion comes from my will to always be of help to others. It is important that we all better ourselves but it is more important to help our fellow man. "Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others." â€-Booker T. Washington

To the Honors program at Clarkson University, I can offer: diversity and change through my individuality, increased motivation, through my desire to learn and finally love, by aiding my fellow students in all their endeavors.

- I don't know what to make of this. please help me out. And the conclusion (which its not much of) strikes me as a bit awkward. any ideas would be GREATLY appreciated
love_mashimaro2 - / 22  
Jan 19, 2013   #2
I believe that I would be a great addition to the Clarkson Honors family because I am a dedicated, energetic, hard working individual with big dreams and an immense amount of determination to back me up .

My experiences in high school have taught me that individuality, inquisitiveness, and compassion lead to success but it is hard work that will point me in the right direction.

At Clarkson, I can more than offer all of these life lessons that I have learned. My individuality comes from my boldness to be different. I am not afraid to stand out from the crowd or to explore new, unconventional ideas and methods to better my environment.

Give me examples of these and make sure to be specific and concise since you only have 250 words. This is well written, but I just feel like I need some anecdotes in order for me to connect with what you are trying to say.
OP tutu51595 6 / 19 3  
Jan 19, 2013   #3
I totally agree. I'll see what i can come up with. Thanks.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 19, 2013   #4
with big dreams and an immense amount of determination to back me up.

with big dreams and a strong determination.

but it is hard work that will point me in the right direction.

but it is hard work that will get me the extra mile to go.

Give me examples of these and make sure to be specific and concise since you only have 250 words.

... Good advice.
Back your claims with examples to convince them you reflect the right character.


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