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'Disabled Sibling' - UT Application


SamIAm3 1 / 1  
Nov 27, 2011   #1
Topic: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

"Sam! Sam, look!" my little sister yells as she races across the pool deck towards me and my teammates, still dripping from the swimming pool. Beaming, she proudly presents a sixth place ribbon which she had just won in her freestyle race. Though sixth place is not a great award, we smile and cheerfully congratulate her on her accomplishment.

When I was five years old, my sister was born. I remember that day as if it were yesterday - the coloring book the nurses had given me, the patients and doctors bustling through the hallways, the worried look on my parents' faces. It was days before they could summon the courage to tell me that she had been born with Down's Syndrome. At the time, I had little idea what that meant. Immediately I thought of those "weird" kids that I always avoided at my preschool. I was scared and angry. Why me? What would life be like with her?

Boy, were my initial reactions unwarranted. Sarah and I spent our childhood years together jumping on the backyard trampoline, having Nerf wars, having diving contests into the swimming pool, and exploring around the house and yard. These years were filled with pure joy.

To this day, Sarah continues to surprise me. Often, I will walk into a local store or restaurant and one of the employees, whom I had never talked to before, approaches me and greets me by name. In response to my surprised and puzzled expression, they say they know Sarah. Sarah's friendliness has no bounds, and it leaves a lasting impression upon those who have the privilege to meet her. When we go to church every Sunday, Sarah has so much fun getting ready and dressing up in fancy clothes, all the while singing along to a Hannah Montana CD that she loves. When she comes out of her room with streaks of messily-applied glitter and makeup on her face, trying to act like a princess, she can almost make me believe it. Sarah likes to live loud and large, and could care less about what people think of her. Never have I heard her complain about anything, despite the hundreds of setbacks she endures. She continues to be determined and always looks for the positives in any situation. She appreciates the little things in life, what some of us have a very hard time doing. I could not fathom how anyone could say that her life has less meaning than a "normal" person's. How ridiculous would it be to say that one's intellect determines their worth? Sarah's heart is purer and more kind than that of any other person I know.

Sarah will never be the nest or the fastest swimmer, but she will also never give up. Her determination impresses me, and I wish I could act more like her.
Jstuff36 5 / 17  
Nov 27, 2011   #2
You should expand upon the idea of how she has affected you. Colleges want to know how this person has helped you grow so you can contribute more to the university.
OP SamIAm3 1 / 1  
Nov 27, 2011   #3
OK I will do that.
Does anyone see any grammatical/structural problems so far?
Also, is the topic idea ok?
Thank you SO MUCH!
Guest /  
Nov 27, 2011   #4
I agree with the first poster. Perhaps an extra paragraph to elaborate if you don't have a word limit? And yes your topic is great. I enjoy your writing, it's captivating.
cjwsk12 1 / 4  
Nov 27, 2011   #5
definitely expand on the poster. looks great to me


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