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I did not grow up in the America; SOP


jukuo 1 / 1 1  
Feb 25, 2013   #1
State of purpose essay.The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.

I have to submit it tonight cuz i will not have internet the day after tomorrow, can somebody come to help with the grammar and word choice!! also can someone check if my content is ok?

essay:
Two years ago when I just moved to the United States, I was unable to apply for the four-year university because most of the schools did not accept the class I took from other country. As a result, I started from community college and planned to transfer to another university after two years. During these two years, I worked really hard in order to conquer the barrier of getting used to the language I was not so familiar with and kept looking for the university I want to apply and because I did not grow up in the America, I did not know the background and history of all the universities.

As I researched all the programs and opportunities each universities provided, I found that the college of nature science in University of Texas at Austin can give me all I need. I want to pursue a career in medicine after graduate from college, but there are not many school in the Texas has pre-med as major, I have to find the school which can provides students with most information about the medical school. When I search for that, I found that UT has Health Professions office for students who have questions about health-related occupations can ask the advisors in there and offer a great amount of internship opportunity information for students. In addition, there are many changes for students to do researches on campus and even doing research abroad.

Moreover, as I moved to Texas, I had heard many people around me saying that University of Texas at Austin is a well-known university which has a long history and having a good reputation. At first, I did not think much about what other people told me, I just thought it is a nice and not having much interest on it. However, last summer my father brought me to have a visit to University of Texas at Austin, when I saw the campus I decided I want to go to this school. The environment and the building fostered at the school was so antique, it seemed like I can feel the history through these buildings. I think because of its reputation I have more chances to be accepted into medical school. Also, Austin is the capital of Texas which is a bustling city. I always like to live in a place with many people around and knowing more people may help in my future career.

I have been in school for fifteen years in my life and even though this may not be the last one, I want to go to the school that I really like and I can enjoy my life not just follow other's instruction. University of Texas at Austin is the one that I think can really provide with everything I need and support my dream to pursue a career in medicine. Once I am accepted, I will do my best to make my dream come true with the help of University of Texas at Austin.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 25, 2013   #2
Two years ago when I just moved to the United States, I was unable to apply for the four-year university because most of the schools did not accept the class I took from other country.

... are you referring to a particular subject or some sort of merit like a first class, second class?
It has not come very clear!

During these two years, I worked really hard in order to conquer the barrier of getting used to the language I was not so familiar with and kept looking for the university I want to apply and because I did not grow up in the America, I did not know the background and history of all the universities.

During these two years I faced many challenges, especially due the language barrier and my lack of knowledge about its universities.

I found that the college of nature science in University of Texas at Austin can give me all I need. I want to pursue a career in medicine after graduate from college, but there are not many schools in the Texas has pre-med as major, I have to find the school which can provides students with most information about the medical school.

I found a right fit with the college of nature science in University of Texas at Austin; My goal is to pursue a career in medicine after graduation and not many schools in Texas offer pre-med as major.
OP jukuo 1 / 1 1  
Feb 25, 2013   #3
Thanks for replying for so fast!!! the first one you correct for me means courses~~
is there other places which may confused people? cuz im not a native speaker so im afraid i may make such mistakes~~
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 25, 2013   #4
cuz im not a native speaker so im afraid i may make such mistakes~

:D
You don't write bad :)

, I have to find the school which can provides students with most information about the medical school. When I search for that, I found that UT has Health Professions office for students who have questions about health-related occupations can ask the advisors in there and offer a great amount of internship opportunity information for students.

However, when I was looking for a college that provides student with good information about medical careers, I found about UT's Health Professions Office that helps students with their queries about health-related occupations. Further, I was very impressed when I found that they also provides students with internship opportunities.

In addition, there are many changesopportunities for students to do researches on campus and even doing research abroadboth on campus and overseas .

... My suggestion;
Also I was attracted by the research opportunities UT offers, both on campus and overseas.


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