Dantes inferno Bball Court -- WHY STANFORD

I wrote a different why stanford essay earlier and i thought this is a much better fit.

Soo here it goes

I spent my first three weeks at Stanford University when I was fourteen. I was an incoming high school freshman taken aback by the picturesque campus with its red tiled roofs and green plains. I was overwhelmed by the feverishly peddling bikers and the excited students jumping from one fountain to another, not to mention I was taking a calculus course. The whole experience was shock, to say the least. I left that summer, eager to learn what Stanford was all about. I knew that Stanford was a prestigious university, but that meant nothing to me. I wanted to discover what was special about Stanford. I decided to embark on that 3,000 mile journey once more the following year. With the Stanford map imprinted in my brain, I was ready to discover different aspects of Stanford. One Sunday afternoon, I explored the campus to find a basketball court that was covered with the entire text of Dante's Inferno. I soon found out that this court was used to study for an exam. This instantly gave me a feel for the types of students Stanford breeds. I left that year with a clear depiction of Stanford students.

When I envision myself at a university, I don't just dream about the various courses to choose from. I dream about the discussions I will have with my fellow classmates at two in the morning when we are completely drained from a week long of classes. I do not want to go to a school where the learning stops at the door of the classroom. My surroundings should be filled with passionate and curious students who yearn to express their exciting realizations while walking on the quad. At Stanford, I know this dream will become a reality. After three summers, I have finally realizes what is special about Stanford; its people.

Turn that semicolon in the last sentence into a colon. Semicolons separate two independent clauses, colons denote lists. Even though it's only one item long, it's still technically a list.

Other than that, nice job. Was this court just littered with paper or were the words actually painted into the cement? Please say the latter.

It was painted on the court.
Instead of covered i'll say painted or printed.

I really liked your essay because of how interesting it is! :)


I think after would be more suitable.

any more???! please

This seems like a run on. I think a possible fix could be a long dash.

... from a week long of classes. I do not want ...have finally realizes realized what is special about Stanford: its people.

Above, I changed your semi-colon into a colon.

I don't really understand the part about the court. Do you mean that the entire court was covered with books, or that the court was mentioned in the book... I am confused!

I also think it is important to talk a little about how Stanford will help you to achieve your specific goals for the next few years... perhaps related to the kind of work you are going to do.

:-)

I have finally realizes what is special about Stanford; its people...Do you mean realized?
Is this the supplemental essay?