new updated version:
In elementary school, I used to be jealous of my friends who got birthday gifts from both sides of their grandparents. They always bragged in a loud pretentious voice "My grandparents got me the new edition of Barbie doll, and lots and lots of new cloths." Then someone else would play a counterpart "Well my grandparents got me a new trampoline, and a new remote controlled car!" During these kinds of conversations, I had always stayed quiet because I had nothing to say. I couldn't brag like them since I didn't get anything. Back then, I felt embarrassed about it. Since bragging about gifts is a privilege, and it shows how much you are loved and how special you are to your family. I had thought maybe I'm just not good enough to be loved by them to receive gifts. At least that's what my childish brain used to think.
My relationship with my paternal grandparents had always been rough. This is because I am a girl born into a traditional Chinese family. Being traditional Chinese citizens who follows all the ancient traditional doctrines and conducts, my grandparents thought only boys can accomplish great deeds and carry on the family name, which was extremely important to them. In their eyes, me being a girl is almost like a crime. No matter how hard I tried to please them by getting marvelous grades or outstanding awards, they didn't bother acknowledging them. When my younger brother got a red shiny star sticker on his shirt from good participation in class, my grandparents were delighted and pleased to see that he is progressing well. They were filled with pride and boasted about him to the neighbors. They were always very protective of him and left me in the cold. They gave him the better of everything and treated him like a treasure. As a kid, I was deeply hurt and started to develop resentment towards them.
My dad understood our relationship, and understood our mutual bitter feelings toward each other. One day, I was crying because my grandparents falsely blamed me for breaking the chair that my brother had broken. I couldn't cry loudly like I wanted to because I knew my grandparents would say something nasty about it. With suppressed sniffles, I sat in the corner of my room quietly detesting them. My dad somehow found me. He came to me, gave me a hug, and said "don't cry, I will give you three times the love to compensate for their mistake. Their vision is just clouded. They just can't see how good you are yet." "Yet" he had said. It was a droplet of hope that slowly alleviated the throbbing ache of my young broken heart. From then on, I didn't hate or blame them any longer, but tried hard to tolerated everything they did.
I simply thought of it as a pity, and kept hoping maybe someday they'll come to realize that I am just as good as a boy, and perhaps better than some. My grandpa had once told me "you don't have the brains." Perhaps, but I definitely have the dedication and effort to make up for what they called my "missing brain". I studied long hard hours to show them that I'm capable. I started to develop a desire to prove myself not only to my grandparents, but also to the world. Eventually, my persistent effort will get through, and it did.
The first time they took me into account was a big break for me. It was the day when report cards went out. Me and my brother had sat side by side talking about it, when my grandpa walked in. He went directly to my brother and asked him "did you make the honor roll?" my brother responded "nope, not this time." I didn't dare look into his eyes, but I knew he was disappointed because I can feel the room's atmosphere drop 3 levels; he had that kind of an effect. There was a long awkward silence. Then he murmured in his deep voice "and you?" I was absolutely shocked because he had never inquired about me. I responded with an almost out bursting enthusiasm "of course! I always do! And there's a lot more of me than just that!"