Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4


Columbia University & Yale University (Admissions essays)


gladwise13 /  
Dec 15, 2009   #1
I'm not the best of writers. At least when it comes to writing about myself. I can write one heck of a research paper but when it comes to writing about me, Forget it... I'm useless. well anyway I've decided to submit the same essay for Columbia and Yale because they've kind of left it up to me to write about what i want. The only problem is i have several essay idea's and beginnings but i don't know which is strongest, which to continue with and whether or not to just give up and join the circus. (Which I'm pretty serious about as silly as it sounds). A little help as to where i should go with these essays or what i should change would be really really helpful. thanks.

Essay Prompts:
Columbia:

On a separate sheet of paper, write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences which have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world-the people in it, events great and small, everyday life-or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well. We prefer that you limit yourself to approximately 250-500 words (or 1-2 pages).

Yale:

You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.

Essay idea 1)

I am musically literate. I am a Capricorn. I am a teenager. I am honest. I am intellectually capable. I am loud. I am persevering. I am short. I am American. I am Hispanic. I am a female. I am Human. I am an onion with many layers made up of what I am, who I am, who I was and who I will be. There is not one layer of me that I define myself more than another. I am not parts to be disassembled. I am a complete whole and my layers are tightly packed around me like layers of rock.

Essay idea 2)

Waking up in the morning to the smell of "Papas con huevos" (potato and eggs), and refried beans and tortillas. Going to school and hearing the Spanish jokes being played through the radio making my parents laugh. I come from a community where the majority is a minority. In a town like mine, dominated strongly by the Hispanic culture, there is not much diversity. I have never felt culturally different. The majority of my community has similar traditions in common that one rarely feels out of place. I have never felt oppressed or hindered by my ethnicity. In a community where mostly everyone is similar in cultures, there is no competition between races or ethnicities. I have lived my entire life being Hispanic but I never truly acknowledged it until now as I prepare to fly the coop and step into a new world. I am not afraid. I am anxious to know what it feels like to be different in more ways than just my personality. My culture, my ethnicity, has been like a security/life line, an IV that has been attached to my heart my entire life, keeping me balanced, accepted, and protected. I know that when I go to college I will suffer from withdrawal symptoms. "Culture shock" some would say, but living in a town like mine, you long and welcome diversity. I know that when I go to college I will welcome every experience and opportunity I have to learn, knowing very well that I would not have half of the opportunities offered to me back home.

Essay idea 3)

If you can think back to your high school days, you might remember a certain student. Every school has one, they're the student who has all the makings of a "Born Leader", or so it seems. This student is the figure head of any or all clubs they participate in, they appear well learned, and have a talent for public speaking. In the stereotype of high school students, this person is usually the Class President, or is voted in the yearbook as "Most likely to succeed". Well, This person is not me. I'm the student that most would call, "Second Fiddle".

Now, being second is not something most people are proud of or appreciate being, I'm not particularly proud of it but I've learned to make a negative work to my advantage. Being number two usually means, First Loser, to me it just means I'm Number one with out having all the figurehead responsibility and pressure. I know that I am fully competent in performing the roles of President, Number One, Head Honcho, etc., I know this because being second in command usually means you pick up all the slack that the top dog leaves behind.
schmevie 6 / 17  
Dec 15, 2009   #2
I like your second topic as i too am hispanic.
except my situation is a little different. i dont know why but here in this community the immigrants eems bent on working and frown upon college so going to college is sort of like breaking traditional values. im sure if you expand on your topic it will make a hell of an essay.
OP gladwise13 /  
Dec 15, 2009   #3
THANK YOU!! it's a little bit like that here too...

Some parents push their kids to succeed and to get a higher education. To accept opportunities that their parents were never offered.
Other parents though do frown on pursuing a higher education because many believe that working hard like they do and how their ancestors have is...i don't know...more respectable i guess.

It also doesn't help that i live so close to the border of mexico where drug trafficking and gangs prevail and families involved in dealing drugs discourage their kids from getting a higher education because they believe they'll make more money working with drugs than going to college.

I don't write about this in my essays because it isn't uplifting and although it has affected people around me, it's never directly affected me.

Thanks again!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 16, 2009   #4
In a town like mine, dominated strongly by the Hispanic culture, there is not much diversity. I have never felt culturally different.

I like this essay the best, and prticularly this insight. It is a unique perspective, and I think it will make a good impression. Essay idea #1 was too much like a stream of consciousness brainstorm with no structure. And... I think he content is better than the third one. :-) So, that is 2 votes for the second one!

:-)


Home / Undergraduate / Columbia University & Yale University (Admissions essays)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳