I'd appreciate feedback on errors, revising, and anything else i can do to improve my essay A. Thanks.
Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact in your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
Looking for a needle in a haystack? Good luck. This well known idiom describes a very difficult if not impossible search. Almost a decade ago, on the television show Mythbusters, co-hosts Adam Savage and Jamie Heineman took up the challenge of using modern technology to render the "needle in the haystack' adage meaningless. Each of the hosts constructed a machine they hoped would sift through hay, pulling out the hidden needles along the way. In the show, Savage demonstrated a cyclic progression of ingenuity, open mindedness, and failure as a mode of exploration, going on to win the competition in just over 6 hours. Adam Savage and his role on Mythbusters propelled my interests towards science and inspired me with the same inclinations I had towards analytical thinking and problem solving.
It was Wednesday at 8pm. I had been waiting for this all week. It had become a tradition of mine. I tuned to the Discovery Channel and prepared for a solid hour of "myth-busting mayhem". At a young age I was already naturally inclined towards analytical thinking and problem solving, although I called it being inventive. I watched Mythbusters every week and noticed something. Adam Savage seemed to have the same inclinations. He took apart a problem like finding a needle in a haystack and looked at it one step at a time, never being afraid to make mistakes and start over until the problem was solved. It's a sentiment that only seems to grow more true as I grow older. He taught me to never give up, and instead to problem solve, and learn from my mistakes. I related strongly to these ideas and took them to heart. Everyday brings a new set of challenges in my work, my studies, and my personal life that I now greet with determination and aptitude.
Savage propelled my interest in science every episode and helped to put me on the path I am today. When asked about when his interest in science began, he answered "I have always had a penchant for taking things apart. It started as a way to look for cool things to build with, but if you take enough things apart, you start to understand how they work and how to put them back together." This curiosity of his influenced me in more ways than I could imagine. It led me to the exploration of my own mind and how to problem solve. Growing up, his role encouraged me to take things apart and make new things with them. This discovery, of learning how things work, and enjoyment of the process meant so much. I was interested in many things at that point. If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wouldn't have an answer. Then Adam Savage helped me realize how much I liked science and problem solving. This realization is exactly why I have chosen to pursue a degree in the engineering today.
For a time, figuring out what I was most intrigued by was like finding a needle in a haystack. Adam Savage proved that it was not impossible, it just takes a little time. I related to Adam Savage, and his influence on my childhood became more profound than I ever thought it would. He pointed me in the right direction, and I found the needle in the haystack.
Although the prompt of this essay is to write about a person impacted you, but I still think you write too much about Adam. You wrote something about yourself, but just some sentences as "Then Adam Savage helped me realize how much I liked science and problem solving. This realization is exactly why I have chosen to pursue a degree in the engineering today."and"He taught me to never give up, and instead to problem solve, and learn from my mistakes." I can not feel what a person you are. It's too general. You may tell more things about yourself
