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Career goals, efforts, and diversity


sg120 5 / 10 2  
Dec 17, 2012   #1
Hi everybody!
So below is my essay and the prompt. I want to know what you think about it. Do you think it addresses the prompt or is it completely useless? I hope some of you provide your valuable suggestions.

Prepare a one page essay (typed, single-spaced with 1-inch margins) describing your career goal(s), your reasons for choosing the career goal(s), and what you have done so far to prepare yourself for your career. Also, if you are selected for the program, how will you increase diversity at the University?

Ąhola, Ů...عحبا , ciao, ä˝ ĺĽ˝
These are one of the few languages in which I know how to say the very polite and respectful word "Hello". But this is not the only thing I want to say. I want to increase my knowledge about all the different languages, the cultures associated with them, and the people who make all these rich and beautiful global cultures. Therefore, I try my best to learn various languages and get a better understanding of their various origins. Generally, the resources are expensive. Henceforth, I use the free resources available in the library and through free websites such as Busu and Mango Languages.

Moreover, for my future, I want to materialize my passion for learning different languages into a practical career. For this reason, my interest in various languages and cultures fuels my future goal of becoming a doctor. I believe a doctor's job is one of the few careers where a lack of understanding of a patient's needs, demands, and problems leads to a failure of communication, which may not only become the cause of complexities in the treatment but may also lead to the death of the patient in severe circumstances. Therefore, a doctor's career brings my goals and hobbies together and puts them to a practical use of helping people through communication and skills.

To better prepare myself for my career, I volunteer as an ESL teacher for adults through the Learn English Ministry. There, I work with a diverse group of people who range from one's who know little about English to others who know many languages, people who recently immigrated to the U.S. to one's who have lived in America for the past fifty years, eighteen year old young-adults to sixty-nine year old grandparents; I interact with all these people and not only teach them but also learn from them. These interactions help me understand people and discover better ways of communicating and connecting with them to solve their problems from an improved perspective.

Furthermore, I also volunteer at the Houston Museum for Natural Sciences Sugar Land. The experiences that I accumulate every time I spend some time there help make me a person as diverse as the museum! I show little kids as well as corporate employs how informational and enlightening a museum can be and in the process increase my knowledge about the ecosystem, dinosaurs, minerals, and even ants. In a way, volunteering at HMNS helps me satisfy my thirst for information and knowledge about history and sciences.

However, I do not want to be left behind in today's world of technology and innovation. Therefore, when I think about my future, I envision a doctor that is well equipped with the skills for successful computing and information management. Consequently, I worked hard to achieve the Microsoft Office Specialist certification in Word and PowerPoint along with gaining extensive training in Excel and Access. I am also working on my typing speed and one of my short-term goals is to increase it at least to 50 wpm by the end of the Spring 2013 semester.

Last but not the least, I believe that the diversity of behavior within an individual is an important factor in making a group not only diverse but also successful. I volunteer at the Learn English Ministry and the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences and make efforts to improve my language and computer skills in order to learn new ideas, to become more accepting of other cultures, to enhance my communication skills, and to gather multifarious knowledge in order to become a more diverse individual. This multifaceted approach challenges me to continuously improve and develop my knowledge and skills so that I may become a well-rounded citizen who can talk to everybody and has something to share that interests every person I talk to.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 17, 2012   #2
I want to increase my knowledge about all the different languages, the cultures associated with them, and the people who make all these rich and beautiful global cultures.

... I feel this sentence is a bit messy. My
I want to enhance my knowledge about different languages, cultures and the people because I appreciate human diversity.

The prompt asks for your career goals. And as I understand, your goal is to become a doctor. But you talk about learning languages, cultures and all sorts of things before coming to this point. I think it is unnecessary and in fact sounds irrelevant too. :(
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Dec 17, 2012   #3
You write nicely and your presentation is good. I like the way you have shown your love for learning new languages. But the prompt asks you how you have prepared yourself for your career. I can understand the connection you are showing between languages and being a doctor. But perhaps you should add more on the other stuff needed to be a doctor. Without them the language part sounds irrelevant. :/
OP sg120 5 / 10 2  
Dec 17, 2012   #4
Thank you guys for all your suggestions, so I am just planning on skipping the first paragraph. What do you think?


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