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Business program and international setting - BU Supplement Essay



giaaahhh28Threads: 3
Posts: 10
Author: Gia Palomo
   
Sep 30, 2012, 05:28am   #1
Essay 1: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

Ever since my mother came back from studying in Harvard for a summer business program, she had been telling me non-stop about the benefits of studying in Boston, a city so ripe with students eager to learn and a rich historic background to boot. I ventured to find out if it was as impressive as she made it out to be. It was all that she said and more, I instantly found myself wanting to study at BU the most. With its diverse population and students eager to reach their dreams I feel like it's the best place for me to grow and flourish, especially in an international setting. As a student who is highly motivated and eager to learn, I feel that BU is the best choice for me to really prepare myself to go out into the real world and give back to society.



vishnuv1228Threads: 2
Posts: 4
Author: Ananth Narayan Venkateswaran
   
Sep 30, 2012, 06:36am   #2
Perhaps you could allude the specific programs that BU offers and what makes you drawn to it. Using some concrete examples will make your essay a lot better.


giaaahhh28Threads: 3
Posts: 10
Author: Gia Palomo
   
Oct 2, 2012, 07:43am   #3
Ever since my mother came back from studying in Harvard for a summer business program, she had been telling me non-stop about the benefits of studying in Boston, a city so ripe with students eager to learn and a rich historic background to boot. I ventured to find out if it was as impressive as she made it out to be. It was all that she said and more, I instantly found myself wanting to study at BU the most. With its diverse population and students eager to reach their dreams I feel like its the best place for me to grow and flourish, especially in an international setting. That is why, what I am most interested in is the Study Abroad Program and the major-market internships as well as the student-run communication agencies especially the PR Lab. Already I am excited to gain valuable hands-on experience working to help clients in the oldest student-run public relations agency As a student who is highly motivated and eager to learn, I feel that BU is the best choice for me to really prepare myself to go out into the real world and give back to society.

thanks for the feedback! how about that? better? what else can i do?


angela0407Threads: 3
Posts: 23
Author: Biying Qu
   
Oct 2, 2012, 08:48am   #4
Try to expand your idea on how you can contribute to BU. It's fairly important. Besides this, it's a well-written piece!

Will you see mine?Thx!


BachChaconne2Threads: -
Posts: 165
Author: Michael F.
 Likes 12  
Oct 2, 2012, 09:30am   #5
giaaahhh28:
Ever since my mother came back from studying in Harvard for a summer business program, she had been telling me non-stop about the benefits of studying in Boston, a city so ripe with students eager to learn and a rich historic background to boot. I ventured to find out if it was as impressive as she made it out to be.


Delete or rephrase unimportant information. It isn't necessary to mention these two things: 1) your mother's summer program at Harvard and 2) the influence she had on your eventual discovery of BU. 61 words that could have been used to describe why BU is a good fit for you, either that or a substantial enough reason to apply.

giaaahhh28:
It was all that she said and more, I instantly found myself wanting to study at BU the most.


You could bold the most to make it clear that BU is your first choice. This will improve your chances of admittance.

giaaahhh28:
With its diverse population and students eager to reach their dreams I feel like its the best place for me to grow and flourish, especially in an international setting. That is why, what I am most interested in is the Study Abroad Program and the major-market internships as well as the student-run communication agencies especially the PR Lab.


Be concise. Separate these ideas into individualized sentences; that is, you could use those aforementioned 61 words to explain why its programs, internships, and agencies interest you.

giaaahhh28:
Already I am excited to gain valuable hands-on experience working to help clients in the oldest student-run public relations agency


On the surface, it seems as if its oldness appeals to you the most. You could rephrase this sentence.

giaaahhh28:
As a student who is highly motivated and eager to learn, I feel that BU is the best choice for me to really prepare myself to go out into the real world and give back to society.


You could give your claims credence by explaining in greater detail how BU can help you prepare for the world and contribute positively to society.


whoau49Threads: 4
Posts: 15
 Likes 1  
Oct 2, 2012, 01:56pm   #6
I feel like your mother is the dominant speaker of this little essay. It should be, instead, begin without any preface and with why you see yourself as a good fit to BU, and then segway to much broader points




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