Throughout my life, people have misjudged me based on appearance while my true unique qualities are to be hidden in the shadows. People do not realize that I am actually versatile, persistent and caring in reality; instead, they are too ignorant to form a relationship with me. I am a type of person who works hard to achieve its goals and take time to assist others when they are in difficult situations. I also believe textbooks, facts on the internet and teachers' advices are not enough for a student to expand his or her knowledge. Rather, a student must involve in a variety of activities beyond the classrooms to obtain a well-rounded perspective of the surroundings.
For most colleges or universities, going to class is optional and most teachers do not even take attendance. However to be a good student, one must attend every session regardless of any excuses. My curiosity to learning new academics at Boston University will motivate me to attend each of these sessions and be consistent throughout the semesters. I also make sure that my grades on exams, assignments and projects are completed with full effort because minimum effort is not an option for me. I believe hard work and perseverance are the "keys" to future benefits in which I can contribute to the BU community by involving in numerous clubs and events while still maintaining a decent grade point average.
Another quality I possess is my persistency in overcoming obstacles. For me, my biggest pet peeve is when problems go unsolved. My anxiety grows larger until my mind urges me to go back and fix my problems. So if Boston University administration were to stumble onto a difficult financial situation, I would be willing to uphold fundraisers to help this university raise money for better quality of classroom equipments, facilities, and etc. Until a feasible amount of money is paid, I would never give up on the fundraisers.
Lastly, most new upcoming students find it difficult in moving onto a new environment for college. They strictly believe stress will overcome their mentality and will have severe meltdowns. So as a caring individual, I am always enthusiastic to assist them in any way such as offering tours around the BU campus, providing assistance in completing assignments, and giving positive influential advice into surviving college. I will not accept a student left behind or a student giving up on his or her education. I believe all students have the potential to graduate from a university but most lack the confidence to do so. This is the reason why I will boost the self esteems of many fellow students upon my arrival at Boston University.
Overall, Boston University is the perfect university for me. All my interests in education and new adventures seem to be well suited in Boston. I hope the administration will acknowledge my unique qualities mentioned above and accept me as its new member.
So any thoughts?
Throughout my life, people have misjudged um, what is your appereace? how have other people misjudged you? me based on appearance while my true unique qualities are to be hidden in the shadows. People do not realize that I am actually versatile, persistent and caring in realityredundant ; instead, they are too ignorant to form a relationship with me. I am athe type of person who works hard to achieve itsmy goals and take time to assist others when they are in difficult situations. I also believe textbooks, facts on the internet and teachers' advices are not enough for a student to expand his or her knowledge. Rather, a student must involve in a variety of activities beyond the classrooms to obtain a well-rounded perspective of the surroundings.
For most colleges or universities, going to class is optional and most teachers do not even take attendance. However, to be a good student, one must attend every session regardless of any excuses. (<- it's always better not to use "one", or "you" for that matter, in an essay)My curiosity toin learning new academicstoo vague, use maybe "subjects" at Boston University will motivate me to attend each of these sessions and be consistent throughout the semesters. I will also make sure that my grades on exams, assignments and projects are completed with full effort because minimum effort ("effort" mentioned twice sounds odd, maybe completed with full effort because otherwise, not doing the best I can is not an option or something like thatis not an option for me. I believe hard work and perseverance are the "keys" to future benefits in which I can contribute to the BU community by involving in numerous clubs and events while still maintaining a decent grade point average. (<- maybe here you could name a few clubs you might be interested in)
Another quality I possess is my persistency in overcoming obstacles. For me , my biggest pet peeve is when problems go unsolved. My anxiety grows larger until my mind urges me to go back and fix my problems. So if Boston University administration were to stumble onto a difficult financial situation, I would be willing to uphold fundraisers to help this university raise money for better quality of classroom equipments, facilities, and etcbest not use etc. be specific, name more possible problems or just add an "and" in between equipments and facilities) . Until a feasible amount of money is paid, I would never give up on the fundraisers.
Lastly, most new upcoming students find it difficult in moving onto a new environment for college. most new upcoming students find it difficult to move / or/ most new upcoming students have difficulty moving They strictly believe stress will overcome their mentality and will have severe meltdowns. So as a caring individual, I am always enthusiastic to assist them in any way such as offering tours around the BU campus, providing assistance in completing assignments, and giving positive influential advice into surviving college. I will not accept a student left behind or a student giving up on his or her education. I believe all students have the potential to graduate from a university but most lack the confidence to do so. This is the reason why I will boost the self esteems of many fellow students upon my arrival at Boston University.
Overall, Boston University is the perfect university for me. All my interests in education and new adventures seem to be well suited in Boston. I hope the administration will acknowledge my unique qualities mentioned above and accept me as its new member.
I think your essay is very personal, so i liked it. it would be better if you could also include things you have done, like giving examples and describing them, about these qualities you possess. not just what you will do at BU, but you've already helped such and such in not having a meltdown before a really hard calculus test or something..oh, and you should name your essay!
tell me what you think about mine?
I think you should take out the part you wrote people have misjudeged you based on your appearance.
Otherwise, good job :) I can tell this essay is truly come from your heart.
As others have said, you sound a little bitter throughout your essay. To me, the tone sounded a little bit like you were defending yourself as a candidate.
It was certainly effective when you talked about yourself more. You might want to talk about what is positive about you more and WHY you're a good fit, not just how. Keep in mind they'll be reading hundreds of these in the heart of a depressing Massachusetts February.
You might also want to cut out the last sentence, or at least the "I hope" part. It is a little weak-sounding for the end of such a vigorous essay.
Very strong effort, though!
