'Beijing Youth Technology Innovation Competition' - research transfer essay for Duke

Hi, I really want to transfer to Duke. I hope I can get some criticle comments about this essay. How do you feel about the content? Is this article clear enough to you? Do you have any more ideas?

If you have participated in any significant research activity outside of school, please provide a brief description and limit your response to one or two paragraphs. (Duke)

I spent my first year and second year in high school to finish a microbiology experiment. The goal of this experiment is to find an antibiotic which purified from the microbe (A02) to reduce the bacteria that grows on tomato. The advantage of this experience is to use biological pesticide, which is environmentally friendly instead of the chemical ones. During this experiment, I encountered the opposition from my parents who believed that I spent too much time on the experiment. And the disparagement from the university's professor who thought I was too young for such a serious assignment. But finally I use my efforts and interest showed to them that I'm a really good scientist.

After the experiment, I wrote my first scholarly research paper and got 2nd Prize in the Beijing Youth Technology Innovation Competition. Though knowing that I failed to get the first prize, I was really upset. When I can use the knowledge which self-learnt from the experiment to help other students in my biology class, I suddenly realized that a real scientist puts efforts in research is because of their passion instead of wanting to chase the honor.

Thanks!!!!
Have a good day!

Although it seems to me that your paragraphs are nice, I think this needs work.

"Though knowing that I failed to get the first prize, I was really upset. When I can use the knowledge which self-learnt from the experiment to help other students in my biology class, I suddenly realized that a real scientist puts efforts in research is because of their passion instead of wanting to chase the honor."

I really don't get what you are trying to say with the paragraph but I tried my best and did this.

"Knowing that I failed to get the first prize got me really upset. However, when I could use self-taught knowledge from the experiment to help other students in my biology class, I realized that a real scientist puts efforts in research because of their passion instead of merely chasing honor."

Thanks! Are you gonna apply as a freshman?

wow thats really cool!