I'm an ESL student so I really need help editing this essay! I might have made some grammatical mistakes that you all would think it's stupid... Help me out please!
Describe how your Purdue education would support the attainment of your personal and/or professional goals.
First of all, I am from Hong Kong. I have to be honest to say that the education system in Hong Kong was not satisfying me. Ever since I was a child, my parents started acquainting me how important it is to get into a college that is suitable for me. In order to get into a college that is perfect for me, I decided to move to the U.S during my sophomore year of high school. Some people thought it was a reckless act because of the language and cultural differences between these two places, but I did it anyway. I know exactly what I want, and once I set my goal, I go for it.
I was quite sure that Purdue is going to be my first choice when I heard their Psychological science department was placed among the top twenty-five percent in the nation's major universities. I began to have a great interest in Psychology as early as I was fifteen. My goal is to become a successful developmental psychologist. I am taking AP Psychology this year and I do not have any trouble understanding what I learned from this class so far. I am fascinated by how much psychology means to us humans. And I know I can get the most of what I want to learn about Psychology from Purdue. Additionally, I am a musician. I have been playing piano for more than ten years and I am also in the orchestra of my high school. I took AP Music Theory during my junior year and I absolutely enjoyed it. I'm leaning toward minoring in music when I go to college. Purdue offers more variety of music courses than they do in Kentucky, which is the other reason why Purdue is the first college that appeared in my mind when I first thought about applying to college.
As I have mentioned, I am from Hong Kong. I haven't been able to make friends that have similar background as I do because there are not many international students in Kentucky. I like being friends with Americans, but I would also like to catch up with the culture of the other countries, so of course Purdue, the second largest international student population of any public university in the U.S, would help me achieve my personal goal -- to know more amazing people from other places. On the other hand, Purdue has different kinds of clubs and activities. It would be the place where I can learn, have fun, and make my college life more extraordinary.
One of my cousins is an alumnus of Purdue. "It always feels like home" he said, "but a home where you can actually enjoy learning and gaining experiences." This answer made me more positive about applying to Purdue. I have faith in Purdue, it is going to help me achieve both of my professional and personal goals.
First of all, I am from Hong Kong. I have to be honest to say that the education system in Hong Kong was not satisfying me. Ever since I was a child, my parents started acquainting me with the importance of how important it is to get getting into a college that is suitable for me.
I was quite sure that Purdue is going to would be my first choice when...
As I have mentioned, I am from Hong Kong. I haven't been able to make friends that have similar backgrounds similar to mine, as I do because there are ...
Use a comma: "It always feels like home, " he said, "but a home where you can actually enjoy learning and gaining experiences." This answer observation made...
I think you are going to do very well! Hey, I want to introduce you to a famous teacher who came from China and studied mech. engineering at Purdue: Dr. Yang, Jwing-Ming
