'all things are subject to change' - Prompt #2

I'd appreciate any sort of help on this. Thank you for your time :)

UC Prompt #2: "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

Although I am not a strong advocate of macroevolution, I do agree with one fact- that all things are subject to change. As a young immigrant, changes in my surroundings linguistically and culturally almost seemed natural to me, as well as the shadowing struggles that I've faced as an immigrant. The hours spent trying to learn English on my own in this foreign land of freedom, or even the time wasted trying to help my family's financial struggles by refusing to accept the two dollars lunch money that my mother scrubbed out of her empty pocket, were the sacrifices I desired to make to progress in this new life that I've never experienced. Whether I lived a better life in Korea or not no longer had any relevance to me- I've only faced forward and strived to adapt to each of the new challenges that were presented.

Perhaps it is my progressive quality that shaped me into the proud student that I am today, knowing that any changes I face will ceaselessly appeal to my adaptive ability for the better. My quality to be progressive relates to my optimism like two parallel lines as ambiguity of what's ahead is not a subject of fear in my personal life. Exposure to change- I believe that it is a fear for many, but my hunger to adapt to such matured me into the accustomed immigrant student I've always strived to be. Time is a constant force that can neither be accelerated nor decelerated but it is one's ultimate freedom to choose how he/she reacts to the change presented in his/her environment. Staying strong with what is true is what progressiveness defines pride in my personal quality.

I think your ideas are excellent because you have mentioned your real experience to express yourself to others. But, your should make your words more clear.

As a young immigrant, changes in my surroundings linguistically and culturally almost seemed natural to me, as well as the shadowing struggles that I've faced as an immigrant.

The hours spent trying to learn English on my own in this foreign land of freedom, or even the time wasted trying to help my family's financial struggles by refusing to accept the two dollars lunch money that my mother scrubbed out of her empty pocket, were the sacrifices I desired to make to progress in this new life that I've never experienced.

too much information in one sentence. you can try to make it simpler to understand..

I like the last paragraph.. You are very cohesive here..