Sorry for posting twice in a row but here is another attempt at the prompt.
I think this one is a little better although it might be lacking a little substance.
Any suggestions for what I can add to make it better?
For all my life, I have had both a strong desire to understand how things work and a keen ability to find out. From fixing things around my house to developing major features in the software of my school's FIRST Robotics Competition robot, this set of attributes has always proven to be useful. As a computer science major, I will be able to utilize my problem solving skills to make revolutionary innovations in a wide variety of technologies.
Keith Nichols