Virginia supplement ( the world where I come from)

Describe the world you come from and how that world shaped who you are. ( about 250 words)

A heavy pounding on the door roused me from sleep. I frowned and heard the next door open and heavy footsteps.

I live with my parents who are doctors in clinics. Both of my parents are very busy every day. They usually work 15 or 16 hours a day. What is even worse, the sounding of knocking made by patients often wakens us up after midnight. Why my parents work so hard was always beyond me, because we have no lack of money. However, my parents never complain and they always work joyfully.

That day, I went out with my parents, wondering who was so selfish to disturb our sleep. It was a woman, waiting anxiously, with her baby in her arms. The little baby had a fever, so my father gave her the injection and prescribed a medicine. The whole process from knocking the door to leaving lasted only ten minutes. "Ten minutes spoiled the whole night," I grumbled. My mum just smiled and said to me, "If the baby was not treated on time, she might become deaf. Our ten minutes may decide her whole life. You should be happy and proud that our ten minutes make the family happy."

My mum's words changed me and made me understand that the value of life does not lie in money but the contribution to others. Infected by my parents, I decided to follow my parents and struggled for the better living of other people.

I began to take part in various charity organizations. In daily life, I try my best to contribute. I discover that helping others in trouble can give me pleasure.

Thanks to my parents who teaches me the meaning of life—to help others. Although what I do may be trivial, I rest in satisfaction when thinking that the lives of other people are improved because of my contribution.


Please give me some advice. I though the essay was not impressive at all and I was trying to shorten it to 250 words. It seemed hard, because there were too many that I want to show :(

I was just doing a quick read so...

Thanks to my parents who teaches me the meaning of life—to help others.

First of all what happened thanks to your parents? That sentence seems vague and I don't know what you are referring to. Second of all how about...

Thanks to my parents who taught me the meaning of life—to help others.

but i'd say something like...

Thanks to my parents, I have learnt the meaning of life - to help others.

They usually work 15 or 16 hours a day. What is even worse, the sounding of knocking made by patients often wakes us up after midnight.

That day, I went out with my parents, wondering who was so selfish as to disturb our sleep.

Infected by my parents, I decided to follow their example and struggle for the better living of other people.

I discovered that helping others in trouble can give me pleasure.

LEARNED the meaning...

:)

Kevin

Thank very much for your advice :)

she might have become deaf

Why my parents work so hard was always beyond me, because we have no lack of money


Get to the point.

"We have money" don't say "we have no lack of money" it's just redundant

Good essay though :)

Thanks very much :)
I wonder if I have answered the question clearly and expressively.

Tell me what you think of the following. I used everyone's comments including my own...

I live with both my parents who are doctors in clinics. They are very busy and usually work 15 or 16 hours a day, every day. Many days the sounds of knocking made by patients often wake us up after midnight. Why my parents work so hard was always beyond me as we are financially stable. However, my parents never complain and they always work joyfully.

One day, a heavy pounding on the door roused me from sleep. I frowned. I heard the next door open then heavy footsteps followed.

That day, I went out with my parents, wondering who was so selfish as to disturb our sleep. It was a woman, waiting anxiously, with her baby in her arms. The little baby had a fever, so my father gave her the injection and prescribed a medicine. The whole process from knocking the door to leaving lasted only ten minutes. "Ten minutes spoiled the whole night", I grumbled. (I say quotation marks then comma because what you said did not include quotation marks and it also makes the sentence clearer) My mum just smiled and said to me, "If the baby was not treated on time, she might have become deaf. Our ten minutes may decide her whole life. You should be happy and proud that our ten minutes made the woman happy." (I say woman because I didn’t see a family being mentioned, only a woman)

My mum's words changed me and made me understand that the value of life does not lie in money but the contribution to others. Infected by my parents, I decided to follow their example and struggle for the better living of other people.

I began to take part in various charity organizations. In daily life, I try my best to contribute. I discovered that helping others in trouble can give me pleasure.

Thanks to my parents, I have learnt the meaning of life—to help others. Although what I do may be trivial, I rest in satisfaction when thinking that the lives of other people are improved because of my contribution.

They usually work 15 to 16 hours a day. What is even worse, the sound of knocking made by patients often wakens us up after midnight. Why my parents work so hard was always beyond me, because we have no lack of money; however, my parents never complain, and they always work joyfully.

The little baby had a fever; therefore, my father gave her an injection and prescribed a medicine.


Thanks to my parents who taught me the meaning of life—to help others. Although what I do may be trivial, I rest in satisfaction when knowing that the lives of other people are improved because of my contribution.

Great! I liked the essay. I wish that the requirement could allot you more words because, if the essay were longer, it could be even better. I did notice a few issues (such as commas and word choice), but nothing that a good proofreading cannot fix. Good luck!

thanks very much for your help :)