USC essay (The one child policy of China)

Merry Xmas. First to anyone that's reading it thank you for proofreading for me on a public holiday I'm very grateful!
This is my last app then I'm free! So I'd like to put a good end into my college app process~ Please give me advice on how to make this better, and correct my grammar mistakes! O nd suggestions on a better endding
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Newton's First Law of Motion states that an object in motion tends to stay in motion in the same direction unless acted upon by an external force. Tell us about an external influence (a person, an event, etc.) that affected you and how it caused you to change direction.


The one child policy of China has created a whole generation of little princes and princesses. They were born to be the centre of attention, the only meaning of their parents' lives. The result of the too much attention and too much expectation is usually someone far less than perfect: a little tyrant who expects everything to be done for them and cannot handle any pressure, I was one of them, until my world turned upside down, literally.
I had attended the best school in the city from kindergarten to junior high, and I was going to keep going until I finish high school, if mum and dad didn't decide to fly me to some little island country on the other half of the globe. I protested so many times against the country of choice: At least sent me to a country with more human than sheep! Anywhere is better than New Zealand! Nothing worse could possibly happen to a 12 year old, I thought to myself then. I really didn't like New Zealand, and judging by the first couple of months I was there, New Zealand didn't like me either.
First week into the hostel life, I stood in front of the washing machine for the first time. I was confused just by looking at all the buttons, but I didn't want to ask anyone for help with my limited English, so for about 5 minutes, I just stood there. Finally a senior girl walked by and saw me staring at the washing machine. She came up to me and tried to help but she spoke so fast I couldn't understand a word.Eventurally she gave up talking and just took the clothes basket from my hand, tipped the clothes in the machine and started it. She didn't forget to give me a look before she walked away, a look that says: you are different and you are not welcomed here.
For a whole month after that my life ran by a strict routine: I have breakfast, go to school, do my homework, ring home, then listen to sad songs and cry myself to sleep. Everything was hard: I couldn't understand much and because of that I couldn't really reply either; I was the only Chinese girl in the year and everyone was excited about me, but after they realized I couldn't really communicate they just left me all alone; the food was tasteless and I had to have 5 minute showers every night. I thought it was going to stay that way, but it didn't.
I will never forget the first time I answered a question in class, the first time I had a conversation with a classmate, the first time I sat with my group of friends for lunch... Slowly I changed; I stopped expecting others to make the change but took my life in my own hands. I learned to get along with people: without a family to turn to, friends are my family, I began to sympathize, to forgive, to manage my emotions, and friends came along. I learned to be independent, I was the only one there to take care of myself: I learned how to work the washing machine, tidy my room, shop for groceries and go to the doctor alone....
Four years flew by and the land of the long white clouds has become my second home. I'm no longer that little girl standing in front of the washing machine, lost but too awkward to ask for help; I'm a seventeen year old with a big personality and a big heart. Everyone noticed my change: my parents are grateful that I'm no longer the caprice princess I used to be and my old friends tell me I've never been this easy-going. I have New Zealand to thank. There's a Chinese saying:" If you were born with sharp edges, life will polish you smooth." Living by myself has given me an early pass into the real world, and the new me is more than ready to take my place in the world.

The one-child policy of China has created a whole generation of little princes and princesses. They were born to be the centres of attention, the only meaning for their parents' lives. The result of too much attention and too much expectation is usually someone far less than perfect: a little tyrant who expects everything to be done for him or her and cannot handle any pressure. I was one of them, until my world turned upside down, literally.


Nothing worse could possibly happen to a 12 year old; at least, that is what I thought to myself then. I really didn't like New Zealand, and judging by the first couple of months I was there, New Zealand didn't like me either.

Four years flew by and the land of the long white clouds had become my second home.

Great job answering the prompt! This will do well for you.

If you went to school in New Zealand, can you apply colleges in American? Is english different in New zealand then it's in US? I'm am a chinese, too, I just curies.

Yes, the sky is the limit. English is slightly different depending on where you go, and in fact people in the US even speak slightly different dialiects from one another. DO not ever think that you cannot go to college anywhere you want. The sky is the limit.

Thank you