UPenn Professor Short Essay (Please critique)

Hello all, here is my UPenn professor essay. Critiques would be helpful!! :D

Penn offers its undergraduates an eminent faculty and a wealth of research opportunities. Use the space below to name a Penn professor with whom you would like to study or conduct research and explain why. (It is not our expectation that you contact faculty directly to answer this question.)

I have this eternal love for teachers who continuously stimulate the student's mind, teach beyond the syllabus, and promote independent learning. Such teachers are also very approachable, which I find to be very important in one's studies. Professor Angela Gibney seems to be the right fit for me. Her position as a pre-major advisor for freshmen, conference co-organizer clearly demonstrates several favorable qualities such as genuinely caring for students, high organizational skills, and allowing students to relentlessly stretch their limits. I hope that, just like my high school maths teacher, she will provide me with sets and sets of problems so that I can sustain my genuine love for mathematics.

I have a eternal love for teachers who continuously stimulate the student's mind, teach beyond the syllabus, and promote independent learning. Such teachers are usually very approachable, which I find to be very important in one's studies.

...

I hope that, just like my high school math teacher, she will provide me with sets and sets of problems so that I can sustain my genuine love for mathematics.

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You might want to put in more of how the Professor you chose fits the category of "continuously stimulating student's mind."

Any more critique?

(Btw, I'm from a British school so I naturally use maths)

Although the last sentence is nice, I don't think you need it. Try to focus on why you would like to study with Professor Angela Gibney.

"Her position as a pre-major advisor for freshmen, conference co-organizer clearly demonstrates several favorable....."

I'm not sure how the bold part is suppose to fit, but it sounds awkward.

I think think essay is very solid. Just one point.

Such teachers are also very approachable, which I find to be very important in one's studies.

If I were you, I would concisely explain why I think it is important.

I have this eternal love for teachers who continuously stimulate their student's minds, teach beyond the syllabus, and promote independent learning.

Her position as a pre-major adviser for freshmen, and conference co-organizer clearly demonstrates several favorable qualities such as genuinely caring for students, high organizational skills, and allowing students to relentlessly stretch their limits.

I hope that, just like my high school math teacher, she will provide me with sets of problems so that I can sustain my genuine love for mathematics.

:)