University of Florida Essay: meaningful event (TV Production)

Something Must to happen cause i did not see my essay another
anyways once again i am trying to see how my essay is doing.

I am in TV Production and i want to major in Broadcast Journalism..so this is a rough draft.

''yes! we are going to stn this year guys,'' as everyone in TV production was excited to know that we are going nationals for TV production and that we will be represented our school at the state conference. I stopped and finally realized ''wow, we are actually going to Orlando for a national competition and there is no one that can make this day any better'' until I forgot ''oh...we have to get approved from our principal'' so as i stand there while everyone is chanting the words ''we are going to stn'' over and over I stand there white a fake smile and thought to myself ''our principal is totally going to say no'' if you don't know what stn is since you been reading it for the last minute I will tell you...

SEE BELOW

The essay seems unfinished. How did the situation end? What did you learn from it? How will this make you a better student? Also, the "stn" thing is awkward. Just say what it is at the beginning of your essay, rather than interrupting the flow of your narrative later on.

Thank you
Currently i am rewriting some of the parts and no it was not finish

here is a improved version so far.

''yes! we are going to stn this year guys,'' as everyone in TV production was excited to know that we are going nationals this year and that we will be representing our school at the state conference which embraces the educational components of broadcast journalism. I stopped and finally realized ''wow, we are actually going to Orlando for a national competition and there is no one that can make this day any better'' until I forgot ''oh...we have to get approved from our principal'' so as I stand there while everyone is chanting the words ''we are going to stn'' over and over and I stand there with a fake smile and thought to myself ''our principal is totally going to say no''

In February 2009, we set up a meeting with our principal Mr. Johnson and I knew right away that our principal would not allow us to go for several reasons. so I set up a meeting to speak to the principal and as we arrived to his office, I was there with 2 other members of TV production and my teacher, we started talking about our big conference coming up next month and then Mr. Johnson stated ''no you can't go '' and it felt like someone push me off a 200 story building to the ground.

we were very shocked by the outcome of his answer because as a member for TV production i work very hard and put timeless hours and dedication to this field and he told us we could not go, by then my reaction was ''how come sir'' and he stated that ''because it is a blackout week which is F.C.A.T week'' and all I could think of was ''how come F.C.A.T week is the same week we have competitions'' my teacher tried to explain to him that all her students that are attending the conference already passed the F.C.A.T and that other schools in our districts are attending the same state conference so when my teacher tried to make a defense on us, Mr. Johnson called one of the employees from the broward districts to speak about this situation. I was thrilled to know that we were speaking to someone who knew about our situation, as she answers the phone our principal starts to talk to her about our issue and if our school is available to attend the competition. After a few minutes we were hoping that she won't let us down.

This is my Final Rough Draft:

''yes! we are going to stn this year guys,'' as everyone in TV production was excited to know that we are going to nationals this year and that we will be representing our school at the state conference which embraces the educational components of broadcast journalism. I stopped and finally realized ''wow, we are actually going to Orlando for a national competition and there is no one that can make this day any better'' until I forgot ''oh...we have to get approved from our principal'' so as I stand there while everyone is chanting the words ''we are going to stn'' over and over and I stood there with a fake smile and thought to myself ''our principal is totally going to say no''

In February 2009, we set up a meeting with our principal Mr. Johnson and I knew right away that our principal would not allow us to go for several reasons. so as we arrived to his office, I was there with 2 other members of TV production and my teacher, we started talking about our big competition coming up next month and how going will enhance the students learning skills in Broadcast Journalism, after explaining to him he stated ''no you can't go '' and it felt like someone push me off a 200 story building to the ground.

we were very shocked by the outcome of his answer because as a member for TV production I work very hard and put timeless hours and dedication to this field and he told us we could not go, by then my reaction was ''how come sir'' and he stated that ''because it is a blackout week which is F.C.A.T week'' and all I could think of was ''how come F.C.A.T week is the same week we have competitions'' my teacher tried to explain to him that all her students that are attending the conference already passed the F.C.A.T and that other schools in our districts are attending the same state conference. Mr. Johnson called one of the employees from the broward districts to speak about this situation. I was thrilled to know that we were speaking to someone who knew about our situation, as she answers the phone our principal starts to talk to her about our issue and if our school is available to attend the competition.

After a few minutes Mr. Johnson stated that we will be able to attend the competition and I thought to myself ''Yes, we did it...we overcome one obstacle out of the many to come in the near future'' after the celebration of joy and happiness we got right to work because we knew next month we will be going to a big competition where many other schools who want to show their talent and dedication to this field just as we do.

In March 2009 we attended the Student Television Network (STN) and the intense competitions were unparalleled, over 2000 students attended across country for this amazing event. This was the largest competition I have ever attended in my life and I had a great experience working with other students, going to this competition made me learned that I want to focus in Broadcast Journalism when I go to college, that is why in the summer of that year I attended the University of Florida: Summer Journalism Program for a week and just like STN I have the privilege to experience how it is going to be in the ''real world'' I believe I am ready to take on the next obstacle in life, I am determined to succeed and I will put 110% into broadcast journalism.