u of i essay on engineering....academic interests/professional goals

Essay 1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or your professional goals.

I know i need to add some more info, but i could use some help on what to add. any feedback would be great. thanks.



The College of Engineering at the University of Illinois is considered one of the best in the world. Engineering has always fascinated me, and I wish to learn at one of the best engineering schools in the country. At the University of Illinois, I plan on studying to become an aerospace engineer.
As a child growing up, I was always intrigued with airplanes, rockets, and spacecraft. When I was in grade school, my sixth grade teacher introduced our class to rocketry. I was very interested at the time, and as a result I built several rockets and launched them. Also, I have generally preferred mathematics and science courses my entire life. Consequently, I have gone on to take courses in high school such as Algebra II, Pre-Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, and Chemistry II. We live in a world where technology is becoming more important and scientific breakthroughs occur everyday. I hope to someday add to the technological advances of our time by working for NASA, Lockheed Martin, Boeing, or other companies that strive to improve aerospace systems.
Concluding, becoming an aerospace engineer is my academic interest and a goal I wish to achieve. With the great education that I know I would receive at the University of Illinois, I plan on being a great engineer and contributing to our ever changing world.

(220/300 words)

Always cut out unnecessary words unless they are interesting:
As a child growing up, I was always...

Okay, the first and last paragraphs are too short. the thing to do is give them details, details! You know how some students have clearer visions than others? You should read a lot online about the work of an aerospace engineer, and see what different types of projects they work on. you should write about where you would like to work, what you would like to do, and what articles have you been reading lately about aerospace engineering.

Present yourself as a student who is obsessed with it!

I think you might want to take out the "The College of Engineering at the University of Illinois is considered one of the best in the world." part of your essay. I would assume that the people reading your application already know all about the school.

Also, I would suggest using as much of the 300 words as possible. That will allow you to give them more incite into who you are.