Hey. I just stumbled upon this site and was wondering if anyone could give me an honest opinion about my essay. Thanks.
Evaluate a significant risk you have taken or ethical dilemma you have faced and discuss its impact on you.
Tug of War
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, then shall his father bring him out unto the elders of his city, and he shall say my son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey my voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones that he dies: so remove evil away from among you
Deuteronomy 21:18-21
Take the African familial dogma where a boy is expected to fulfill his father's dreams, couple it with Christianity's expectation to question nothing, and mix it with a hint of resentment. You get the war I wage with my father. Don't get me wrong. My father has laid an incredible foundation for me to build upon. But for him, reasoning with his teenage son is nonsensical and ludicrous. As a result, in a tug of war, my father and I have vied for control over my life.
The dilemma was not one with my father, but one with myself. There were times where I couldn't stomach the fact that I rejected all that he wanted in me. I felt as if I had single-handedly destroyed all of his hopes and aspirations. I couldn't be my father's trophy son, the surgeon. It broke his heart; thrashing mine with guilt and Biblical admonitions. Times came where thinking of ways to rebel kept me from falling through the cracks. Was it right for me to turn my back on everything he had built my life upon? Was I even turning my back?
I was stuck at a crossroads. On one road lay my father's prenatal dream: My son will be a God-fearing medical surgeon and he will bring honor back to Ghana and Africa. I knew this was exactly what he was after. I would often accompany my family to Ghanaian functions and see the pained looks of party goers who scramble to shield their insecurities behind flimsy worldly possessions. This is the frivolous, unhappy life he wants for me. This could never be! Is the only way to keep his "unconditional" love and support for me was for me to fulfill his dreams of Medical school, an African wife, children, and social prestige? Even at the cost of my happiness?
The other road projects my own aspirations. My future career as an active epidemiologist is inimitable. The love for my father and the fear of God is not stronger than the need for me to be myself. By following my biological predisposition as a gay man, I've become the sole sculptor of my future. And I've decided that my father's controlled God-fearing surgeon will be a free, God-loving human being.
Kwame Ocran
Kwame Ocran
top of page