why tufts? need to know if its specific enough

Why Tufts? (500 letters)

As I began my search on the Internet for a university in a country I have never visited before, my expectations were simple. Decent international relations department, East Coast location and size big enough for diversity but small enough for engaging class discussions. Tufts satisfied my expectations and more. Staffs were easily accessible through emails, the homepage was simple yet informative and alumni's comments were nothing but full of praises. This "globally-recognized" university surprised me by making my heart yearn to begin my next chapter of life at Tufts University.


Now I just need to know if this is what everyone says is needed for why us essays.
Is this specific enough? I mean these are the reasons why I want to go to this school wholeheartedly but it seems to be too general.
and again, the last sentence needs some work

thanks!

Have you ever visited this school in person or only you know about it from online readings?

as i mentioned - in a country I have never visited before,

so no never been to usa so never been to tufts either :)

THen it would be hard to tell why you want to study there; relying on second-hand opinions and hype may not be a good idea. I wonder why they require such questions....

thats why i needed to know if its specific enough. and for internationals like me, second hand opinions and experiences are the only way to see what universities are good for me.
how else would i find out if a uni is a good fit or not?

and yes i hate "why us" questions.

Tufts satisfied my expectations and more. - I would elaborate what "more" means (and it's better not to use it, it's too informal).

thanks!

but more importantly, how do i get more specific and sound more passionate?

Maybe you should focus more on why tufts is so appealing to you? How does it stand out from the thousands of other colleges in the u.s.a that you've probably read about? Also, what do you think it will offer you that colleges in your country can't.

hope that helps a little! good start, but it could use some work.
good luck!

Maybe you could mention a specific program they have or something that interests you? Maybe they have a really good program in your intended major or there's a club you read about that you really liked.

What you have now is good, just tweak it a little and I think you'll be good.

Good luck!

thanks heaps guys!
I feel that SAT CR section is much easier than this "why us" questions. Its very hard to sound absolutely passionate like some of the others I have read. I'll fix it up and post it again!

As I began my search on the Internet for a university in a country I have never visited before, my expectations were simple. Decent international relations department, East Coast location, and size big enough for diversity but small enough for engaging class discussions. Tufts satisfied my expectations and more. Staff members were easily accessible through emails, the homepage was simple yet informative and alumni's comments were full of nothing but praise. This globally celebrated university surprised me by appealing so strongly to my interests and passions. My heart yearns for the meaningful empowerment that will be available to me if I am accepted as a student at Tufts University.


There, how about that fix for the last sentence. Maybe you can improve it even more. You are very smart, and I hope you'll check out the contributor page! Become an EF Contributor, and you can add this to your list of accomplishments.

Good luck, Marcellinus!

thanks!

heres my revised one. I think this one is more specific.

Internet can only be of limited help when searching for my dream university in a country I have never visited, yet it convinced me that Tufts was the place. Tufts has one of the strongest International Relations department, my choice of major. I want to broaden my knowledge and explore core areas that may ultimately decide my future. Its 60+ core faculty from 16 departments in IR will allow me to explore my various interests. I believe Tufts' diverse opportunities will open many doors for me.

again I'm having trouble ending it lol "open many doors for me" is too cliched and needs a better one! Kevin? help?

thanks!