Supplement Essay - ''Let your life speak.'

Prompt: 1. There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.

Do I have any errors? Does it sound right? Is it strong? If you can, please help me trim it down. Thanks!



By dictionary definition, I am in a cult. Every Sunday, my family and I cleanse our souls of the murky karma accumulated from our past lives.
I was repeatedly taught that I did not pertain to any particular "religion" but to a "method" by which practitioners achieve enlightenment through meditation. We are bound by five precepts: Do not lie; do not steal; do not partake in adultery; do not partake in either drugs or alcohol; and do not eat meat or eggs.
Throughout my lifetime, it was emphasized that the afterlife outweighs all other priorities in life; however, I was never among those who acquiesced this standpoint. After becoming "initiated", I began to question the basis of our practice. Not many of my questions were acknowledged; but more importantly, I was filled with the notion that if I did not try something, then I would never know what that experience felt like.
Ultimately, this curiosity became a driving force in my life, motivating me to do things I never would have considered if I had simply accepted the black and white teachings of the "method." When I began to satisfy my curiosity, it became apparent to me how much the "method" was inhibiting the volume of experiences and knowledge the world has to offer.
Yet I have realized that having been unexposed to controversial issues such as religions, I am capable of unbiased assessment. Today, I am able to approach anything with an open mind, an advantage I know will be useful in my future

so i'm just letting you know that i'm just a senior in high school too...
It's pretty good
maybe towards the beginning or somehow in the prompt mention what the definition of a cult is and then use parts of the definition to exemplify how you think you're in a cult

you should be more specific in how you have been motivated to do things you never considered before. like was there an epiphany in your life? a life changing experience or something?

and to be honest I'm not sure how you can trim it down. I have the same problem with some of my essays. sorry!

hope I helped somehow

By dictionary definition, I am in a cult. Every Sunday, my family and I cleanse our souls of the murky karma accumulated from our past lives.
I was repeatedly taught that I did was not affiliated with any particular "religion" but to a "method" by which practitioners achieve enlightenment through meditation. We are bound by five precepts: Do not lie; do not steal; do not partake in adultery; do not partake in either drugs or alcohol; and do not eat meat or eggs.
Throughout my lifetime, it was emphasized that the afterlife outweighs all other priorities in life; however, I was never among those who blindly accepted this standpoint. After becoming "initiated", I began to question the basis of our practice. Not many of my questions were acknowledged; but more importantly, I was filled with the notion that if I did not try something, then I would never know what that experience felt like.
Ultimately, this curiosity became a driving force in my life, motivating me to do things I never would have considered if I had simply accepted the black and white teachings of the "method." When I began to satisfy my curiosity, it became apparent to me how much the "method" was inhibiting the volume of experiences and knowledge the world has to offer.
Yet I have realized that, having been unexposed to controversial issues such as religions, I am capable of unbiased assessment. Today, I am able to approach anything with an open mind, an advantage I know will be useful in my future.


Wow, you never mention the name of the religion! But it must be a sect of Buddhism or Hinduism, right? Well, I think that the precepts that you keep are wise, and I spend much of my time reading about Buddhism and Hinduism. I was raised into a BELIEF system, but I think it makes much more sense to practice meditation! I hope you come full circle and embrace the method, driving onward toward enlightenment!

It is interesting to me that, people who were raised into belief systems often reject them and practice meditation, but you, who were raised into meditation, seek other things. I guess we always seek other things!

Mention the name of the religion, and perhaps you can also link your open mind (at the end) to the opportunities available through the school to which you are applying.

:)