Science/Math Program; Contribution; Please help!

Be harsh as possible!


What would you contribute to the SVSM program should you be accepted?

(I will work on the beginning later)

As a leader, both outside and inside of my school, I want to contribute my leadership skills to help improve the Svsm program. I want to combine the strengths of individuals together to form a whole. Therefore, hundreds of pieces will become one, during the short, four weeks. By showing overall proficiency in my area, I hope to set an example for other following programs. I want to be a shoulder to lean on when others are in times of difficulty. I will help my fellow students when they are in need of a hand. I will devote my time and effort, both in and out of session, to promote as many positive achievements as possible.

A group of people with identical views will not move forward. To understand humanity, we must interact and cooperate with others from all walks of life. I was born and was raised in South Korea until I was eight. Every morning of my days were spent with my grandfather, who took me hiking to the gorgeous landscapes that appeared to me as ancient paintings. We sat on the big rock, and each day, I was taught of the history, the language, and the culture of my beautiful country. Though I've been exposed to the American society, I deeply treasure and live by my Korean customs. I view my distinct country with respect and honor as my grandfather once did. By bringing my heritage to the Svsm program, I will advocate my virtues while understanding others' and becoming the 'others'. I will help students to be more open-minded and tolerant to welcome new ideas from others of different ethnic backgrounds. With cultural diversity in the Svsm program, there will be a pool of different values and perspectives that students and faculty can take in to account and learn from.

By contributing diversity and leadership, I will be an encouraging impact on others at the Svsm program

I just read the first paragraph.

As a leader, both outside and inside of my school, I want to contribute use my leadership skills to help improve the Svsm program.

I want to combine the strengths of individuals together to form a whole. Therefore, hundreds of pieces will become one, during the short, four weeks.

How will you combine the strengths? What is the significant of this action?

By showing overall proficiency in my area, I hope to set an example for other following programs.

Proficiency in what area? What are you referring to when you say "other following programs"?

I want to be a shoulder for others to lean onto lean on when others they are in times of difficulty.

I will help my fellow students when they are in need of a hand.

I think this sentence and the previous sentence has similar meanings.

I will devote my time and effort, both in and out of session, to promote as many positive achievements as possible.

What do you mean by "positive achievements"?

By showing overall proficiency in my area, I hope to set an example for other following programs. I want to be a shoulder to lean on when others are having difficulties.

I will help my fellow students when they are in need of a helping hand.

Though I've been exposed to American society, I deeply treasure and live by my Korean customs.

I view my distinct country with respect and honor, as my grandfather once did.

. I will help students to be more open-minded and tolerant in welcoming new ideas from others of different ethnic backgrounds.

:)

Linnus,

by positive achievements, I mean positive changes.

Thank you :)