Princeton University: Personal Essay

Hi, I'm Artur. I need help with my writing. English is not my native tongue and I'm trying my best on the college application. Any help is going to be useful.



Using the statement below as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world:
''Princeton in the Nation's Service'' was the title of a speech given by Woodrow Wilson on the 150th anniversary of the University. It became the unofficial Princeton motto and was expanded for the University's 250th anniversary to ''Princeton in the nation's service and in the service of all nations.''


- Woodrow Wilson, Princeton Class of 1879, served on the faculty and was Princeton's president from 1902 to 1910.
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Throughout the course of life people are going through difficulties and challenges. Those obstacles are influencing and are changing the person. There were some major obstacles in my life. Some of them triggered others and it looked like everything I was doing just kept on adding them. It looked like there would be no hope in the end. Likely I was wrong.

The biggest obstacle that I had to overcome so far was immigration. It also was the most important decision in life. I actually had a choice of staying or immigrating. If I stayed, I would live with my mother in a poor country with very few options for the future. However, I chose the route that was full of new challenges, experiences, and options. This decision changed my whole life.

The old values where hardly applicable to the situation I was in. I was living with my new family. It consisted from me, my father, my sister, the stepmother, and the stepbrother. We did not get alone with each other. We had long arguments because of unimportant things. The only thing that kept me going was my bound with my sister and my mother. Before all of this I used to take them for granted and did appreciate them to the extend I do now.

Whenever I needed support I always found it from my sister and my mother. When I was living in Ukraine with them, it looked to me that this is just the way it supposes to happen in the family. However as soon as I started living in America this perception changed really quickly. I started to pay more attention to what my closest ones were saying. Also I stared to cherish there opinion more. I'm thankful to them, because they were always looking after me.

My value of the family has grown a lot in the last four years. This value is an important part in live of any person. Also it is increasing the pride of individual in the nation that he or she is living in. This makes it one of the most important values of all.

Your essay focuses mostly on something you value, namely your family, instead of on one of your values (honesty, integrity, selfishness, rationality, compassion, etc.). The essay still works with the prompt, since you can go with the "how it changed your approach to the world" part, but I got the idea you were trying to go with the value aspect, so I thought I'd mention the distinction.

A few grammatical tips:

"It consisted of me, my father, my sister, my stepmother, and my stepbrother."

"The only thing that kept me going was my bond with my sister and my mother"

"Before all of this I used to take them for granted and did appreciate them to the extend I do now." I think you mean to say you did not appreciate them to the extent you do now.